Some people believe that a good teacher is more important for education success while others think the students attitude is more important to succeed in education. Discuss both views, and give your own opinion.
The pie charts give information about different sources of
energy
for USA
during the ten-year period
Correct article usage
the USA
Overall
, it is obvious that the
oil was the main source of Correct article usage
apply
energy
the
whole period Change preposition
for the
while
the least amount of energy
was produced by hydroelectric power
.
The dominating source, oil, produced 42% of whole
Correct article usage
the whole
energy
for the USA in 1980 and this
index decreased to 33% over 10 years even though oil remained the leading source of energy
. The second main resource in 1980 was natural gas and its indicator declined to 1% in 1990 from 26%.In
Change preposition
As
Correct article usage
a result
result
coal took its place with 27%.Hydroelectric Add a comma
result,
power
and nuclear power
were equal in 1980 with the
index of 5%.Correct article usage
an
However
in Add a comma
However,
1990
nuclear Add a comma
1990,
power
produced twice more energy
while
hydroelectric power
produced the same amount of it.
#sevara #day1Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that the response is relevant to the task given. The essay provided does not address the topic of the importance of a good teacher versus the student's attitude in educational success. Instead, it discusses energy sources in the USA over a ten-year period, which indicates a misunderstanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
An IELTS essay should include an introduction that introduces the topic, at least two body paragraphs that develop main points with supporting details, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion. This structure helps in achieving coherence and cohesion. The provided essay lacks this structure and instead offers a brief description without any clear introduction or conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence refers to how well the essay sticks together and how clearly one point leads to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. Cohesion refers to the use of cohesive devices like pronouns, conjunctions, and transitions to help the essay flow. This essay is considerably limited in its use of these elements, resulting in a disjointed piece of writing.
task achievement
Provide clear and comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the essay question. Use examples and explanations to support your ideas, ensuring that these examples are relevant to the topic. In this example, the content presented is irrelevant to the posed essay question, and no specific examples directly related to the importance of teachers or students' attitudes are given.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!