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Band 4.5

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #situations #adults #limit
In
modern
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the modern
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 era, social media plays a vital role and because of
this
 many
childrens
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children
show examples
 are affected. Some
belive
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believe
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 parents should impose some
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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 on connecting
with
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to
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 for their children. I completely agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will discuss the reasons behind the aforesaid issue.
Firstly
, regulation on connecting
with
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to
show examples
internet
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the internet
show examples
 should be set by parents
because
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because of
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 the
perticular
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particular
 reason
for
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apply
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circumstance
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the circumstance
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 they are more conscious than minors.
Clearly
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Clearly,
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teenager
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teenagers
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 do not
completly
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completely
 know how they protect
themselfe
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themselves
from dangerous situations.
For instance
, when a child
click
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clicks
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 on
unknown
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an unknown
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 website which includes numerous viruses, these software viruses obtain personal data.
Then
you
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your
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 personal information
such
 as ID Number, Bank details, address etc can fall into the
hand
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hands
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 of dangerous people.
Secondly
, many kids are directed by social media so
ristriction
Correct your spelling
restriction
 should be put in place because nowadays there are many things which are coming
in
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from
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world
Correct article usage
the world
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 wide web and it is not
usefull
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useful
 for
juvilants
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jubilant
, sometimes they assume these all
thing
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things
show examples
 differently.
For example
, in Turkey, a child watched a video
of
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about
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 superpowers and we
was
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were
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easilly
Correct your spelling
easily
 influenced by him.
Then
 he thought he
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 some special
power
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powers
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 like flying and jumped from
balcony
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the balcony
a balcony
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 to try flying. In conclusion,
To sum up
 everything that has been stated so far many youngsters are exposed to risky scenarios
because
Add the preposition
because of
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 the
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 access
of
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to
show examples
Correct article usage
the world
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world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
 and social media
platform
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platforms
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.
Therefore
 elders should restrict
there
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their
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juvilant
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jubilant
 to access
internet
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the internet
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it is
pridictable
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predictable
 number of
ristriction
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restriction
restrictions
 on
children
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children's
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 connection
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 will increase in future.
Submitted by shubhashish.bobby on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a main idea, supported by relevant explanation and examples. Avoid overly general statements and strive for more depth in the analysis of the points given.
task achievement
Stay focused on the prompt throughout the essay. Directly address the question of whether you agree or disagree and make sure that every paragraph contributes to supporting your view.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
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