IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.

The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.
#information #car #ownership #britain
The graph demonstrates information about
car
ownership
 in
Britain
 between the years 1971 and 2007.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that
while
one
car
 remained steady
of
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the period,
whereas
Correct your spelling
there was
show examples
 no
car
ownership
 in
Britain
 significant drop.
Furthermore
, two
cars
 marginally
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 during these years in
Britain
, three or more
cars
 similar
one
Change preposition
to one
show examples
car
 remained steady
then
 slightly
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the period. Looking at the details, with regards to information about
car
ownership
 in
Britain
, no
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 considerably
slip
Wrong verb form
slipped
show examples
 from 1971 to 2007 to just under 30
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
,
while
one
car
 stayed steady
of
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the period but the number of used
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 slightly fell and grew between years. Focusing on two
cars
 and three or more
cars
ownership
 in
Britain
. The former significant increase between 1971 and 2007. After 1971 improved to above 20
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the latter the number of
cars
remaining
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady over
a
Correct article usage
eight
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eight-years
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
. After that, marginally
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 approximately 2 to just under 10
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, ownership, britain, one, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "marginally" was used 2 times.
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