IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.

The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.
#information #car #ownership #britain
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The graph demonstrates information about
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in
Britain
Use synonyms
 between the years 1971 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that
while
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 remained steady
of
Change preposition
during
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 the period,
Linking Words
whereas
Correct your spelling
there was
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 no
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in
Britain
Use synonyms
 significant drop.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, two
cars
Use synonyms
 marginally
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 during these years in
Britain
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, three or more
cars
Use synonyms
 similar
Use synonyms
one
Change preposition
to one
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 remained steady
then
Linking Words
 slightly
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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of
Change preposition
over
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 the period. Looking at the details, with regards to information about
car
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in
Britain
Use synonyms
, no
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 considerably
slip
Wrong verb form
slipped
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 from 1971 to 2007 to just under 30
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
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,
while
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 stayed steady
of
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the period but the number of used
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 slightly fell and grew between years. Focusing on two
cars
Use synonyms
 and three or more
cars
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in
Britain
Use synonyms
. The former significant increase between 1971 and 2007. After 1971 improved to above 20
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the latter the number of
cars
Use synonyms
remaining
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady over
a
Correct article usage
eight
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eight-years
Correct your spelling
years
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. After that, marginally
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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 approximately 2 to just under 10
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, ownership, britain, one, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "marginally" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • household
  • trend
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • ownership
  • period
  • peak
  • dip
  • noteworthy
  • consistent
  • dramatic
  • highlight
  • significant
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