IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the change in three different types of crime in Newport city center from 2003 to 2012

The chart below shows the change in three different types of crime in Newport city center from 2003 to 2012
#change #three #crime #newport #city #center
The given line
garph
Correct your spelling
graph
 illustrates the change of different
crime
 rates that took place in Newport
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 between the years 2003 to 2012.
The
Correct article usage
Overall
show examples
overall
, burglary has the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
crime
rate
. In 2003, the
crime
rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
bulgary
Correct your spelling
Bulgaria
burglary
bulgar
 was about 33000 but gradually it increased
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 38000.In 2008, it declined rapidly and the
rate
 was around 12000
then
Capitalize word
Then
show examples
 it slightly increased to 1500 in 2009 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant till the year 2012.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 car theft was about 27000 less than bulgary in 2003.In 2006, slightly decreased
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 2000.There was
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 increase from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2007 and it kept increasing till the year 2012 and reached
upto
 2000 same as the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
crime
rate
 in the year 2003.
However
roberry
Change the capitalization
Roberry
show examples
wate
Correct your spelling
water
 was the least from car theft and
bulgary
Correct your spelling
burglary
Bulgaria
bulgar
.In 2003 the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
crime
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 about 500.
Then
 there was a marginal increase in 2005
from
Correct word choice
and from
show examples
 there it
decreaed
Correct your spelling
decreased
decreases
decreed
upto
 500 which has the same
crime
rate
 that was in 2003. From 2003 there was an upward and downward fluctuation from the years 2008 to 2012 and
raeched
Correct your spelling
reached
 till 15000.
Submitted by begumsyeda442 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, rate, upto with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: