Some people have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of commiting a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is true that after being released from prison, some prisoners show rehabilitation, which results in the belief that they are ideal candidates to talk about
danger
Add an article
the danger
show examples
of law violation. From my perspective, with proper caution and assessment from the government, they should be encouraged to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility. There are a variety of compelling reasons why
ex-prisoners'
Correct your spelling
ex-prisoners
involvement should be supported in deterring
youngsters
from illegal activities. One primary
reasons
Change to a singular noun
reason
show examples
is that ex-offenders have adequate knowledge about the consequences of breaking the rules. They know the best about the results of
offenses
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offences
show examples
, the harsh
of
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apply
show examples
punishments and the feeling in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison.
Therefore
, it is realistic when they share their experience
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
students
.
Moreover
, ex-prisoners can eliminate false
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
show examples
in
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
.
Due to
the misleading figures in some films about
criminals
, some
youngsters
worship them and consider them as a beacon of their life. The rehabilitated offenders can show the deluded
students
the reality and they act better as a deterrent against crimes than
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
and
parents'
Correct your spelling
parents
show examples
guidance.
However
, many aspects need
considering
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
when allowing ex-convicts to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
speeches at school.
Firstly
, there is no guarantee that ex-offenders are totally rehabilitated in the prison. Some studies have shown that many
criminals
tend to
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
when coming back to society since they lack money and relationship or they have not
satisfied
Add a missing verb
been satisfied
show examples
with
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
yet
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Hence
allowing ex-prisoners to go
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the school may put
students
at
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
of being attacked.
Secondly
, there are many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
of people
deserve
Correct pronoun usage
who deserve
show examples
to have a speech with
youngsters
about the consequences when threatening the rules, police officers who directly fight against
criminals
can inspire
students
with a sense of justice and self-protection from
criminals
.
Moreover
, social workers who work with
criminals'
Fix the agreement mistake
criminal'
show examples
victims can trigger sympathy and hatred toward crime. In conclusion, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the uncertainty of recidivists and people who might deter
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
from violating the regulations
besides
ex-convicts, rehabilitated prisoners should have conversations because of seasoned experience and breaking wrong
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
show examples
about
criminals
among
youngsters
.
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on

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coherence cohesion
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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