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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #business #e-commerce #purchases #industry #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart presents data on the
proporsion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of businesses making e-commerce purchases in
industry
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the industry
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 in Canada from 2015 to 2019.
Overall
, the
percentage
 of construction, wholesale and retail increased year
of
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apply
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year
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the year
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in
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from
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 2015 until 2019,
however
, for retail in 2018
as
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was
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same
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the same
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 as
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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retail
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of retail
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.
But
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However
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, the manufacturing
and
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apply
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information and communications remained relatively up and down.
Furtermore
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Furthermore
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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information and communication
have
Wrong verb form
had
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highest
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the highest
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percentage
in
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from
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 2015 to 2019. the
percentage
 of construction and wholesale increased from 2015 until 2019 with around 20% until
aproximately
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approximately
 50%, and 40% to around 60%, respectively. Retail remained increasing from 2015 until 2018 with 30% up to nearly 60% and constant in 2019. The
percentege
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percentage
manufacturing
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of manufacturing
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 experience fluctuated from 30% up to 50%
in
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from
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 2015 to 2016 and
fall
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fell
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 down to 455 and
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
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 to 60% in 2019. The proportion
information
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of information
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 and
communincation
Correct your spelling
communication
communications
 remained rise
in
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from
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 60% to 75% and
steady
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steadily
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 decreased
70
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by 70
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% in 2019.
Submitted by wiwinwindiahadi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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