IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Dress code or uniforms are important in a company. Do you agree or disagree

#dress #code #uniforms #company
Nowadays, in
this
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there are many
companies
. even though from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 retail
company
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a big
company
. they have unique
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
differences
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other
companies
for example
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
dress
 code or
uniform
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally agree that uniforms are important in a
company
 because
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 knowing their
employee
 every
companies
Change to a singular noun
company
show examples
.
this
 essay will examine why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
dress
 code could be involved to
identic
Correct your spelling
identify
show examples
 what they profesional
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 job.
for example
,
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 always
used
Verb problem
wear
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
white
uniform
 when they
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 activities at
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
. not only doctor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 teachers, polices and everything
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 job they always
used
Verb problem
wear
show examples
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 when they are working.
Furthermore
, the
employee
 must not
thinking
Change the verb form
think
be thinking
show examples
 about their work outfit if they
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 go to
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
 because the memories
reminder
Replace the word
remind
show examples
used
Verb problem
them to wear
show examples
 different
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. The
employee
 could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 their money for the
dress
 outfit.
for example
,
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 the
company
have done arrange
Wrong verb form
has arranged
show examples
 the condition
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 outfit every day. in conclusion, the
company
 have
rule
Add an article
a rule
show examples
 for
employee
Add an article
the employee
show examples
 about the
uniform
 or
dress
 code
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 to
using
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 by employees and could be unique
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
companies
Change to a singular noun
company
show examples
.
Submitted by wiwinwindiahadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical sequence of ideas is consistently maintained throughout the essay. Use clear transitions and cohesive devices effectively and accurately to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed and clearly defined. The purpose of the essay should be evident from the introduction, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs more development in terms of supporting main points. Include specific, relevant examples and fully elaborate upon each point to support your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a general response, but the response needs to be more fully extended with clearer, comprehensive development of ideas.
task achievement
To improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, organize your thoughts more logically and expand on them with detailed explanation and discussion. Avoid general statements and focus on clear, articulate arguments.
task achievement
When using examples, be sure to choose those that are relevant and specific to the point you're making. A strong example can greatly support your argument; it should be well-integrated into your essay, not merely mentioned.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: