Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?
A lot of people in the community decide to be self-employed or an entrepreneur
than
Rephrase
rather than
to
be office workers in the organization because they will likely be Fix the infinitive
apply
challenging
Wrong verb form
challenged
their
skills by Change preposition
in their
uncomfort
moments throughout their Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
life
. In general, the major reason for the phenomenon is work pressure and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
although
it is not going to be easy to be self-employed. This
essay will explain the cause
and the disadvantages.
It can be seen that many factors influence these happening. the cause of the phenomenon is plenty of staff do not get an appropriate salary. Fix the agreement mistake
causes
Moreover
, society does not need tension during they earn money, without any stress of mental and physical issues regarding their occupation. For instance
, in December, bank office workers were under a high burden. They will be likely to build their own business from the beginning as the track record than spend the time to reach the career ambitiously in the office. It triggers them to search for an independent career. Additionally
, they could manage the
time and daily schedule to arrange the best priority for all of their activities.
Change the word
their
On the other hand
, the main disadvantage of freelancing is the high risk of bankruptcy due to
competition and having a high
depressing moment. Replace the word
highly
Furthermore
, If someone works freelance, they can not expect how much salary to get every month. it is not going to be easy to be predicted
. Wrong verb form
predict
For example
, as a programmer, I need to prepare all aspects such
as producing, marketing and evaluating my product. Overall
, many beneficial steps throughout the activity.
In conclusion, many workers prefer earning money by self-employed
. Add a missing verb
being self-employed
However
, there is
a Verb problem
apply
disadvantage
to being self-employed like Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
the
uncertain income, unpredictable business and it is hard for the upcoming moment.Correct article usage
apply
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Logical Structure
Your essay lacks clear logical structure and the ideas seem disjointed. To improve, focus on organizing your thoughts into clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is thoroughly explained and supported by evidence or examples.
Introduction & Conclusion
An introduction and conclusion are present but not well-defined or developed. Work on creating a strong introductory paragraph that clearly states the purpose of your essay, and a conclusion that effectively sums up the arguments made in the body paragraphs.
Supported Main Points
The main points in your essay are supported, but the supporting information is not always clear or directly related to the main point. Provide clear and specific examples or evidence to back up each point you make.
Complete Response
Your response addresses the task, but the response is not complete as it lacks depth and detail in some areas. Develop your ideas further and provide more comprehensive coverage of the topic.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are somewhat clear but not comprehensive and could be further developed. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and avoid vague statements. Expanding on your ideas and using more specific language would improve clarity and understanding.
Specific Examples
You included examples, but they were not always relevant or specific enough. To improve, include detailed examples that are directly tied to your main points and strengthen your argument or explanation.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...