It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Our lives depend on the choices that we make. For some

people

, it is essential to take

risks

both in their careers and personal lives.

Although

taking

risks

may include losing what you already have, the potential benefits outnumber any potential drawbacks. On one side,

people

tend to stay in their comfort zones and not take any

risks

in order to prevent any potential

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

. They think that they may lose what they already have and

deciding

Wrong verb form

decide to

show examples

stay away from change.

For instance

, it is hard for

people

to leave their jobs with regular income to start their own dream business that they have wanted for a long time because they cannot risk their budget and their regular income.

However

this

person can end up being unsatisfied with

life

, unhappy and even depressed because of the wishes and thoughts that have been never met and

stabilised

Correct article usage

the stabilised

show examples

lifestyle. On the other side,

people

ameliorate themselves with experiences they have in

life

People

who are involved in taking

risks

life

have a chance to enhance undesirable conditions. Even though they lose, they will be experienced for the rest of the decisions they should make so risk brings opportunities even though it

resulted

Wrong verb form

results

show examples

in unwanted

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

. Take Mark Zuckerberg as an example, if he hadn’t dropped out of Harvard to focus on Facebook, maybe he wouldn't have been a millionaire today. In conclusion, even though taking

risks

is hard to do because we, as humanity, don’t want to lose in any field, the chance of potential good which can improve the current conditions always benefits more. I believe

life

always merges with ups and downs and when we come to

this

life

once, we need to courage ourselves to take

risks

to reach the greater good.

Submitted by asik.melliss on Fri Dec 15 2023

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task response

Make sure to explicitly state your position at the end of the introduction to set the tone for the rest of the essay.

task response

Organize your arguments effectively, ensuring a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. A clear paragraph highlighting the drawbacks of risk-taking would improve the balance in your essay.

task response

Be consistent in your argumentation, and provide detailed examples to effectively support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Maintain logical sequencing of ideas throughout the essay with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Reiterate your position in the conclusion to remind the reader of your standpoint, and make sure it reflects the discussion in the main body of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security to their families. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others, however, believe that schools in the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet in order to meet friends which can cause potentially dangerous situations. What solutions do you suggest?

Some people say that e- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?