It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Our lives depend on the choices that we make. For some
people
, it is essential to take
risks
both in their careers and personal lives.
Although
taking
risks
may include losing what you already have, the potential benefits outnumber any potential drawbacks. On one side,
people
tend to stay in their comfort zones and not take any
risks
in order to prevent any potential
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. They think that they may lose what they already have and
deciding
Wrong verb form
decide to
show examples
stay away from change.
For instance
, it is hard for
people
to leave their jobs with regular income to start their own dream business that they have wanted for a long time because they cannot risk their budget and their regular income.
However
,
this
person can end up being unsatisfied with
life
, unhappy and even depressed because of the wishes and thoughts that have been never met and
stabilised
Correct article usage
the stabilised
show examples
lifestyle. On the other side,
people
ameliorate themselves with experiences they have in
life
.
People
who are involved in taking
risks
in
life
have a chance to enhance undesirable conditions. Even though they lose, they will be experienced for the rest of the decisions they should make so risk brings opportunities even though it
resulted
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
in unwanted
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. Take Mark Zuckerberg as an example, if he hadn’t dropped out of Harvard to focus on Facebook, maybe he wouldn't have been a millionaire today. In conclusion, even though taking
risks
is hard to do because we, as humanity, don’t want to lose in any field, the chance of potential good which can improve the current conditions always benefits more. I believe
life
always merges with ups and downs and when we come to
this
life
once, we need to courage ourselves to take
risks
to reach the greater good.
Submitted by asik.melliss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to explicitly state your position at the end of the introduction to set the tone for the rest of the essay.
task response
Organize your arguments effectively, ensuring a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. A clear paragraph highlighting the drawbacks of risk-taking would improve the balance in your essay.
task response
Be consistent in your argumentation, and provide detailed examples to effectively support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical sequencing of ideas throughout the essay with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Reiterate your position in the conclusion to remind the reader of your standpoint, and make sure it reflects the discussion in the main body of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: