The chart below shows the results ofa survey aboutpeople's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results ofa survey aboutpeople's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar graph illustrates a survey's outcome about
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the behavior
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of Australian citizens in drinking and buying
coffee
and tea in the
last
4 weeks. There are 5 different
cities
that are reported: Sydney, Melbourne,
BRisbane
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Brisbane
, Adelaide,
Hobart
Correct word choice
and Hobart
show examples
.
Overall
, the majority of
people
in the
cities
go the a
cafe
for
coffee
and tea.
In contrast
, the percentage of
people
buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fresh
coffee
by themselves is the lowest in every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
. Even though going to a
cafe
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
the most preferable way for
people
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
cities
, the percentage of buying instant
coffee
in Adelaide was slightly higher.
People
in
Melborne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
had the highest percentage
in
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of
show examples
going to a
cafe
in the
last
4 weeks,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
for approximately 63.5 per cent, but
this
number was slightly higher than Sydney's and Hobart's which accounted for respectively around 61 and 63 per cent. In almost every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
, the first rank of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
method of buying
coffee
was going to a
cafe
;
nonetheless
,
Australian
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
buying instant
coffee
in Adelaide was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
popular method,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
represented
Wrong verb form
representing
show examples
precisely 50 per cent.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, people, cafe with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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