IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people say that should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #aim #viewers
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Certain individuals say that most
of
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apply
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TV
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programs
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 ought to teach
viewers
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 about crucial social problems.I reckon that
,
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apply
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popular
TV
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programs
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 can be different and it is not
necesserly
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necessarily
 educational.
This
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 statement will
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be disscused
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disscused
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discussed
discuss
 in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are plenty of
programs
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 that educate
viewers
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 about essential world issues.
For
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this
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reason
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reason,
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 these
programs
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 have their own audition and in most
of
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apply
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case
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case,
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 it is mature human beings.
For
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instance
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instance,
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TV
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programs
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 like National Geographic
has
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have
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big
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a big
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 amount of
viewers
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 and they illustrate
them
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apply
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a large number of social problems.
In
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On
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 the other hand,
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the percantage
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percantage
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percentage
 of educational
programs
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lawer
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lower
 than entertaining
chanels
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channels
.For
this
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reson
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reason
 there are so many complaints about various channels.
For
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example
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example,
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 MTV channel has
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an enormouse
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enormouse
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enormous
 quantity of
viewers
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 but they do not have
educational
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an educational
the educational
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 part. In conclusion, I think that popular
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tv
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TV
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programs
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 can be both educational and entertaining.
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not present a clear logical structure; arguments are presented in a disjointed manner, lacking clear transitions and coherent development.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, they are underdeveloped and do not adequately frame the essay's arguments. The conclusion is particularly brief and lacks a decisive closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Main points related to the topic are present but lack sufficient support. Ideas are mentioned in a superficial manner without being explored or exemplified in depth.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the prompt, but fails to fully develop an argument or adequately explore the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement about TV educating viewers on social issues.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to communicate ideas, they are not articulated clearly nor are they comprehensive. Reader may struggle to grasp the full extent of the writer's viewpoint due to lack of clarity and argumentative depth.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is limited, and those provided do not effectively strengthen the argument or illustrate the points made. A richer variety of relevant examples is needed to improve the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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