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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts exhibit data about the consumption of power in each house in Australia and how the same causes
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
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emissions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
greenhouse
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gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 are higher than the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption for all house items except for heating which is showing a reverse trend. A significant proportion of the
energy
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 is consumed by heating which is 42% of the total household
energy
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, followed by water heating
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes up 30% of the
energy
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 consumption. There is a difference of only 8% between the use of power for other appliances (15%) and refrigeration (7%). Lighting and cooling make up a negligible percentage of total
energy
Use synonyms
 use, ranging between only 2% and 4%. In the second pie chart,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
emissions
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 are from water heating, accounting for a little less than a third of the total
greenhouse
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gas
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emissions
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, roughly similar to
emissions
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 from other appliances (28%). Heating, surprisingly, emits only 15% of the total
emissions
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 even though it is the biggest consumer of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
. Where refrigeration causes 14% of
greenhouse
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gas
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, the proportion of
emissions
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 from lighting and cooling together produce 11% of the total
greenhouse
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gas
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse, gas, emissions, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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