The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The two pie charts give information about the devices humans in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada during 10

years

Correct your spelling

10-year

period starting with 2009.

Overall

it is clear that

at the beginning of time, utilizing

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apply

show examples

tablet

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tablets

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was the

least

Correct your spelling

last

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thing,

while

conventional

was significant. In comparison,

at the end

of the period flat screen

became the largest object and the lowest used item was

desktop

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a desktop

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computer.

Using to

Verb problem

show examples

watch

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apply

show examples

conventional

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show examples

comprised 34% in the first year and

this

showed a sharp decrease of 30% to 4% in 2019.

Likewise

, in 2009 flat-screen

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TVs

show examples

used

Change preposition

apply

show examples

8% which rose rapidly to 27% 10 years later. With regards to the remaining methods of using

to watch

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watching

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, there was an approximate 15% rise in using

from

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apply

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

to 19%.

On the other hand

, desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

declined from 6% to 12% in 2019.

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Sat Dec 16 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

151 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from Primary School to universities too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. do you agree or disagree?