Qs. As countries have developed, there has been a trend towards smaller family size. Why does this happen? How does this affect the society?

It is universally acknowledged that developing nations tend to adopt the pattern of the nuclear family system.The present generation believes in secularism rather than religionism.
However
,both its causes and effects will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs There are numerous causes of the nuclear family . The foremost cause is the implantation of urbanisation in the country. People’s migration from rural to metropolitan areas has resulted in a reduction of family members. Other than that the impact of westernisation culture changed the whole perspective of every individual towards family planning simultaneously.
Secondly
,the major population of
nation
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the nation
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is working.
Due to
this
parents who are engaged in office work or any other respective occupation are unable to provide quality time and concentration to their offspring
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
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to following the nuclear family arrangement . Every action has its own reaction and so does
apply
Verb problem
apply
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the nuclear family . Primarily, it brought a new structure to society’s orthodox formation. Back in time, people were narrow-minded and had firm faith in the term “More the Merrier “.
In contrast
,
this
modernised age prefers small families because the lesser the number greater the quality.
Secondly
, it has
also
affected the population explosion.
Nevertheless
, higher standards of living, costly health services, expensive education and many more instincts showed up to practising the nuclear family system.
To conclude
it can be commented that people are more likely to prefer the nuclear family rather than the joint family system. Which resulted in the phenomenon of selfishness, lack of importance of relations and other issues
shown up
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Although
, growth in expensive livelihood plays a vital role in
this
matter.
However
, different folks have various thoughts regarding
this
ideology respectively.
Submitted by pranshu15shah on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure which is crucial for the coherence and cohesion of the text. Make sure to organize your ideas by grouping related points together, and use paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion, which is positive, but these need to better paraphrase the question and clearly state your position to improve the introduction/conclusion quality.
coherence cohesion
The main points you make in support of your argument are somewhat clear but require further development and elaboration. Supporting ideas with specific examples will strengthen your argument and improve your score.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the prompt fully to achieve a higher score in task achievement. This includes discussing both the causes and the effects of the trend toward smaller family sizes in detail.
task achievement
While your ideas are related to the topic, they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Focus on developing your ideas thoroughly within each paragraph, and avoid general statements that lack depth.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points about the causes and effects of smaller family size. Avoid making unsupported generalizations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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