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Writing Samples /
Band 6

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main future and comparison where relevant.

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main future and comparison where relevant.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #future #comparison
The two maps illustrate the changes made to the
road
 which allows entry to
city
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 in the years 2007 and 2010.
Overall
, there has been the addition of some designated areas and renovation of the
road
 to control the traffic entering the hospital. In the year 2007, the
city
 hospital was surrounded by the ring
road
 which allowed the hospital access via the two-way lane on the south. Towards the
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 side of
ring
Correct your spelling
Ring Road
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road
, there was an entry to the car park available for staff and public and extended along the hospital
road
. Bus stops were situated on either
sides
Change to a singular noun
side
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 of
this
road
, which
then
 opened across the
city
road
 making a four-way junction,
further
 down the south. In comparison to
this
, in the next 3 years,
position
Add an article
the position
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 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 hospital did not change as it was surrendered by
ring
Add an article
the ring
a ring
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road
.
However
,
this
road
 had
additional
Add an article
an additional
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 entry that opened on the east side into the public car park and the parking for staff remained unchanged. For better flow of
traffic
Add a comma
traffic,
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 a
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
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 was built on both sides of
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
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road
 connecting to the
city
road
. A bus station was constructed on the western side of
this
road
 that has access to both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roundabouts.
Submitted by agarwal.bhavi07 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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