IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Task 1: The plans below show a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #school #information #features #comparisons
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The pictures illustrate the design of a school in 1985 and now.
Overall
Linking Words
, after 38 years, the
play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 field is smaller now and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 place for new facilities. The number of students in school
also
Linking Words
 enjoyed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 increase through the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the first map, there was a
rectangle
Replace the word
rectangular
show examples
 car park with
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
a road
show examples
, entrance and exit connected to the main street in front of the campus. The office was
loccated
Correct your spelling
located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left of the entrance, in front of the library. Next to the library
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the
classrooms
Use synonyms
 and a small car park.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other side of the
road
Use synonyms
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a classroom block with 2 storeys. At the bottom of the map, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a big
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 field for students. Nowadays, the car park is changed to half-cycle, so on with the
road
Use synonyms
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 it. The office change a little bit in its
shap
Correct your spelling
shape
, but still
remain
Verb problem
retains
show examples
 its old
posistion
Correct your spelling
position
. The library now is removed and alternated by
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 resources centre and computer room. The school
also
Linking Words
demonlish
Correct your spelling
demolish
demolished
 the old
classrooms
Use synonyms
, and
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 new
classrooms
Use synonyms
 just behind the computer room. In the middle of the plan, the old
road
Use synonyms
 is replaced by new trees. The old classroom block is updated to 3 storeys, and new
classrooms
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 built behind the block. The
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
play field
Correct your spelling
playfield
show examples
 is smaller than in the past, and a new pool and fitness centre
is
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 added to the campus
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure to provide a full and detailed comparison between the two maps, mentioning all the significant changes and developments. It is important to fully elaborate on each of these changes rather than simply listing them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear introduction that sets the context of the comparison succinctly. Additionally, to achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, work on a smooth progression of ideas with clearer topic sentences and use of linking phrases that assist in effortlessly guiding the reader from one section of your description to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to correct grammatical mistakes and inaccuracies in usage, such as the use of past simple for ongoing situations and misspellings, to enhance the readability of your essay. It is also beneficial to use a range of vocabulary to describe the changes effectively.
coherence cohesion
Additionally, you should include a conclusion that summarises the main changes and developments briefly. This reflects a good structure of the essay with a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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