These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, there are a huge quantity of cruel
programs
on television, streaming services and
in
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on
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the Internet. All
this
content
is often accessible
for
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to
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children
despite the age restrictions. There is no doubt that
souch
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such
agressive
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aggressive
programs
influence
on
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apply
show examples
kid
's
behaviour
.
Such
content
might provide
for
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apply
show examples
some
children
bad
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with bad
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examples of social
behaviour
.
On the other hand
, it affects
kid's
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kids'
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physocological
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psychological
condition leading to
the
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apply
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anxiety and even nightmares.
Although
,
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apply
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the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
show examples
TV
programs
and shows with
agressive
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aggressive
or violent
content
are
produce
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produced
show examples
for
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by
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adults, it is often when
children
might
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apply
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watch it with their parents.
Children
and teenagers might
percieve
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perceive
such
content
as an example
how
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of how
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to act in real life.
Moreover
, lots of contemporary
kid
's cartoons consist of
agressive
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aggressive
characters with a cruel plot.
Hence
, some
of
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apply
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children
might be more
agressive
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aggressive
with their peers at school,
repeting
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repeating
reporting
violent
behaviour
from their favorite characters.
As well as
cruel movies or other violent
programs
affect
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affecting
show examples
children
's
behaviour
, it might have a vital effect on
kid's
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kids'
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health. It is especially important for younger
children
with a vivid
immagination
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imagination
.
For instance
, after watching some
agressive
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aggressive
content
, some
children
might experience nightmares or
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more
anxiety
Replace the word
anxious
show examples
.
Overall
,
danger
Replace the word
the dangerous
show examples
effects of cruel information might lead to serious
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
health problems and
consequently
resulting
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result
show examples
in misbehaviour. In conclusion, the modern level of violence on television and
in
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on
show examples
the Internet
have
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has
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a huge impact on
children
's health and
behaviour
. In my opinion, kids might use
such
content
as a model
behaviour
and try to act in the same way with their surroundings at school or at home.
Submitted by nadin45681 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt at the beginning of your essay to clearly present your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Although you have mentioned potential impacts of violence on children, providing concrete examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to present the main idea of each paragraph succinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Control grammar and punctuation more carefully to avoid errors that can distract from the clarity of your message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mimicking
  • aggressive
  • idolize
  • fear or anxiety
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • proactive
  • supervision
  • content
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