These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, there are a huge quantity of cruel
programs
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on television, streaming services and
in
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on
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the Internet. All
this
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content
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is often accessible
for
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to
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children
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despite the age restrictions. There is no doubt that
souch
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such
agressive
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aggressive
programs
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influence
on
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apply
show examples
kid
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's
behaviour
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.
Such
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content
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might provide
for
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apply
show examples
some
children
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bad
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with bad
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examples of social
behaviour
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.
On the other hand
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, it affects
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kid's
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kids'
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physocological
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psychological
condition leading to
the
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apply
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anxiety and even nightmares.
Although
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,
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apply
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the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
show examples
TV
programs
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and shows with
agressive
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aggressive
or violent
content
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are
produce
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produced
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for
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by
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adults, it is often when
children
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might
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apply
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watch it with their parents.
Children
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and teenagers might
percieve
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perceive
such
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content
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as an example
how
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of how
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to act in real life.
Moreover
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, lots of contemporary
kid
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's cartoons consist of
agressive
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aggressive
characters with a cruel plot.
Hence
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, some
of
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apply
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children
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might be more
agressive
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aggressive
with their peers at school,
repeting
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repeating
reporting
violent
behaviour
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from their favorite characters.
As well as
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cruel movies or other violent
programs
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affect
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affecting
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children
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's
behaviour
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, it might have a vital effect on
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kid's
Fix the agreement mistake
kids'
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health. It is especially important for younger
children
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with a vivid
immagination
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imagination
.
For instance
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, after watching some
agressive
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aggressive
content
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, some
children
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might experience nightmares or
became
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become
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more
anxiety
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anxious
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.
Overall
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,
danger
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the dangerous
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effects of cruel information might lead to serious
psycological
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psychological
health problems and
consequently
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resulting
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result
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in misbehaviour. In conclusion, the modern level of violence on television and
in
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on
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the Internet
have
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has
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a huge impact on
children
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's health and
behaviour
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. In my opinion, kids might use
such
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content
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as a model
behaviour
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and try to act in the same way with their surroundings at school or at home.
Submitted by nadin45681 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt at the beginning of your essay to clearly present your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Although you have mentioned potential impacts of violence on children, providing concrete examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to present the main idea of each paragraph succinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Control grammar and punctuation more carefully to avoid errors that can distract from the clarity of your message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mimicking
  • aggressive
  • idolize
  • fear or anxiety
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • proactive
  • supervision
  • content
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