These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, there are a huge quantity of cruel
programs
on television, streaming services and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Internet. All
this
content
is often accessible
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
despite the age restrictions. There is no doubt that
souch
Correct your spelling
such
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
programs
influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kid
's
behaviour
.
Such
content
might provide
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
children
bad
Change preposition
with bad
show examples
examples of social
behaviour
.
On the other hand
, it affects
kid's
Fix the agreement mistake
kids'
show examples
physocological
Correct your spelling
psychological
condition leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anxiety and even nightmares.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
TV
programs
and shows with
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
or violent
content
are
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
adults, it is often when
children
might
Verb problem
apply
show examples
watch it with their parents.
Children
and teenagers might
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
such
content
as an example
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to act in real life.
Moreover
, lots of contemporary
kid
's cartoons consist of
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
characters with a cruel plot.
Hence
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
might be more
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
with their peers at school,
repeting
Correct your spelling
repeating
reporting
violent
behaviour
from their favorite characters.
As well as
cruel movies or other violent
programs
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
children
's
behaviour
, it might have a vital effect on
kid's
Fix the agreement mistake
kids'
show examples
health. It is especially important for younger
children
with a vivid
immagination
Correct your spelling
imagination
.
For instance
, after watching some
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
content
, some
children
might experience nightmares or
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more
anxiety
Replace the word
anxious
show examples
.
Overall
,
danger
Replace the word
the dangerous
show examples
effects of cruel information might lead to serious
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
health problems and
consequently
resulting
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
in misbehaviour. In conclusion, the modern level of violence on television and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Internet
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a huge impact on
children
's health and
behaviour
. In my opinion, kids might use
such
content
as a model
behaviour
and try to act in the same way with their surroundings at school or at home.
Submitted by nadin45681 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt at the beginning of your essay to clearly present your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Although you have mentioned potential impacts of violence on children, providing concrete examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to present the main idea of each paragraph succinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Control grammar and punctuation more carefully to avoid errors that can distract from the clarity of your message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: