More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city? How can government make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #government

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In recent days, I

consider

Wrong verb form

have considered

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that

Correct word choice

apply

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the cities

are like

Wrong verb form

to be

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a place of opportunity.

As well as

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earning a living has become much more difficult.

Although

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there are some drawbacks

Change preposition

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migrating to cities, the government could do to ensure the urban condition for citizens. There are several reasons why people who settle in a city have to face many obstacles.

Firstly

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, because the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village

Correct word choice

apply

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citizens have to pay more for transport, housing, or even food.

Secondly

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due to

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the increase in population, cities are witnessing higher levels of social evils,

such

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as crime and poverty, day after day.

Moreover

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, migration occurs at the expense of the environment, especially air pollution.

Due to

Linking Words

contamination

such

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as machine handling, traffic and debris, urban life can be unhealthy and stressful.

On the other hand

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, the government should take steps to measure these problems to ensure that people have the chance to enjoy a better life

Replace the punctuation

...

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Firstly

Linking Words

government

Add an article

the government

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could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living.

Secondly

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, building good schools and providing universities with good professors in different domains. Entertainment is really important for the young population to relax and regain their strength.

Then

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, facilitate their travelling by building good roads and providing means of transportation

as well as

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job opportunities and shops.

To conclude

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, migrating brings a lot of

extremely difficult

Replace the word

extreme difficulties

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to the metropolis either material or immaterial aspects.

However

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, governments could implement various

measurements

Replace the word

measures

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to tackle these problems.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Sat Dec 16 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction provides a clear response to the task with a concise thesis statement. Introduce both aspects of the question (problems and solutions) to set the context.

task achievement

Develop your paragraphs further with more detailed examples and explanations. Include both general ideas and specific, relevant examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Use linking words effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, ensuring the ideas flow naturally from one to the next.

coherence cohesion

Make sure all paragraphs are well-structured with a clear main idea, supported by appropriate explanations, examples, and conclusions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city? How can government make urban life better for everyone?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The use of mobile phones by students during school has become increasingly common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to use mobile phones in schools?

share of income earned by top 1 percent, 1975-2015

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

n many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?