In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside us decreasing.
It has been widely claimed that the reason causing residents in
countryside
in the number of states be Add an article
the countryside
falling
is people living outside the Wrong verb form
fall
city
centre trend
to move to Correct your spelling
tend
live in
the Verb problem
apply
city
. While
it argued by
Change preposition
apply
some
that the situation could be considered Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
positive development. Correct your spelling
a
This
essay discusses with
the perspectives Change preposition
apply
why
I consider Change preposition
on why
that
the Correct word choice
apply
declining
Replace the word
decline
of
the number of people in rural Change preposition
in
areas
to be negative
circumstance.
To Add an article
the negative
a negative
being
with, it might seem reasonable to believe that the falling proportion of population in one particular area causes the negative outcomes in Verb problem
begin
term
of economy. Fix the agreement mistake
terms
This
is properly
because the working labour in the Change the word
proper
areas
tends to reduce. For example
, in case
of Correct article usage
the case
hotel
business, there will be affected Add an article
the hotel
less
people Change the quantifier
fewer
to work
Change the verb form
working
For
this
reason, it could cause the
labour shortage in the Correct article usage
a
city
and impact negatively the economy in
the Change preposition
of
city
.
Moreover
, it could cause a significant point that the relationship time spending
in Replace the word
spent
family
will be more considerably distant among members of the family. To clarify the argument, it could be seen that there will be less time to spend Add an article
the family
activities
together because the members are living in different Change preposition
on activities
areas
. For instance
, grandchildren will live in another city
from their grandparent who lives in rural areas
. As a consequence
, the
communication between them will Correct article usage
apply
happen
Verb problem
be
difficulty
because they do not have Replace the word
difficult
story
or Correct article usage
a story
activity
to share Fix the agreement mistake
activities
the
Change the word
their
opinion
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
although
it is undeniable that the development is able to have the
positive effect, I am the option to Correct article usage
a
believing
that the improvement could lead to Wrong verb form
believe
negative
impact Correct article usage
a negative
in
the country in Change preposition
on
term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
labour
market in rural Add an article
the labour
areas
and the relationship in Add an article
the family
family
.Fix the agreement mistake
families
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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer introduction and a more distinct conclusion. The essay lacks a focused thesis statement and the conclusion does not summarize the main points strongly enough. Make sure you restate your position in the conclusion and how it is supported by the arguments made.
logical structure
Develop a more coherent structure. The essay tends to jump from idea to idea without clear transitions or logical progression between them. Use topic sentences to clearly state the main point of each paragraph, and follow them with explanatory sentences and then example or evidence.
supported main points
Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples. The examples provided in the essay are too general and vague. Specific, detailed examples are needed to effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should cover all aspects of the prompt in a balanced way, with a clear position that is consistently maintained throughout the essay. Expand on your ideas to fully develop your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. The essay's ideas are not fully fleshed out and do not provide a clear understanding of your argument. Take time to explain your thoughts more thoroughly to ensure the reader can follow your reasoning.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. The essay lacks concrete examples which are needed to substantiate your claims and make your argument more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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