The plans below shows a home and plans for its redevelopment.

#plans #home #redevelopment

The maps below illustrate a house and the plans drawn out for its redevelopment.

Overall

, the plans show that there will be additional

study

/bedrooms

made

Verb problem

apply

show examples

as well as

a social area, parking and ensuite bathroom. The

overall

space will be utilised in a more efficient manner in order to generate more rooms. Looking at the maps in more detail, as you

maneuver

Change the spelling

manoeuvre

show examples

through the entrance there will

Add a missing verb

be an

show examples

extra

study

/bedroom attached to the previous one. The future plan

also

demonstrates the transformation of the living room into a massive

study

/bedroom.

This

means that there will be 2

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

/bedrooms now joined together,

although

the one in the original layout will now be a smaller size. Moving onto the kitchen,

this

will now become a conjoined social area as well. The

overall

space of the hall will decrease in order to make space for the ensuite bathroom.

Also

, the garden that was facing the South will be demolished and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

replaced with

parking

Correct article usage

a parking

show examples

area.

Submitted by abeera2012 on Sat Dec 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure. Use paragraphs effectively, each of which should have a clear main idea supported by explanatory sentences. While your essay has a basic structure, it could benefit from clearer transitions and a more explicit connection between the ideas.

coherence cohesion

Regarding the introduction and conclusion, both components are crucial for setting up and then summarizing the main points of your text. Though you include a general overview, your essay lacks a definitive conclusion that wraps up the information presented. Include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay more effectively.

task achievement

To achieve task completion, it's important that you answer the prompt fully and provide a balanced treatment of all parts of the task. While your essay provides a response to the given task, it could be more complete with additional details and a comprehensive comparison between the current and planned house structure.

task achievement

In terms of clearly and comprehensively presenting your ideas, strive to explicate your points fully, ensuring that your description is not just a list but an insightful explanation. You touched upon the main ideas, but further elaboration on how the changes will affect the use of the house's space would enhance clarity and depth.

task achievement

Regarding the use of relevant and specific examples, it's good that you included details from the plans; however, extending your description to include more specific information about how the changes may impact the function or aesthetic of the house could provide a more nuanced response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.
Over the past decade, a substantial surge in population growth has undeniably transpired, exerting adverse effects on quality of life, culminating in elevated population density and pervasive pollution. This demographic escalation is primarily attributed to the processes of urbanization and the deficiency of health and educational amenities. Nevertheless, viable solutions exist to mitigate these challenges.
5.5
band
In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?
In contemporary societies, rejecting job applicants because of their age is illegal in some nations. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of this trend.
6.5
band
Many people believe that modern inventions have brought more problems than the benefit. Do you agree or disagree?
Today, the world has been running on technology and inventions that have claimed to make our lives easier. Nevertheless, there is a large group of people that believes, modern inventions have brought more problems to our lives than benefitting us. I strongly agree with this viewpoint and shall put forward my arguments in the ensuing paragraphs.
6
band
Online currencies have become more common in recent years. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In resent decades, digital currencies have gained popularity because it is easy to access and hard to lose comparing to physical money. In my opinion, I believe that the profits outweigh the drawbacks due to its usefulness.
7.5
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Plantation is crucial from an environmental perspective. It is often believed by many people that in the open land of cities and villages, plantation should be encouraged; however, some thinks that residential buildings should be made. In my opinion, I believe growing more trees will definitely contribute to healthier atmosphere.

The plans below shows a home and plans for its redevelopment.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that modern inventions have brought more problems than the benefit. Do you agree or disagree?

Online currencies have become more common in recent years. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?