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Band 3

The plans below shows a home and plans for its redevelopment.

#plans #home #redevelopment
The maps below illustrate a house and the plans drawn out for its redevelopment.
Overall
, the plans show that there will be additional
study
/bedrooms
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
as well as
 a social area, parking and ensuite bathroom. The
overall
 space will be utilised in a more efficient manner in order to generate more rooms. Looking at the maps in more detail, as you
maneuver
Change the spelling
manoeuvre
show examples
 through the entrance there will
an
Add a missing verb
be an
show examples
 extra
study
/bedroom attached to the previous one. The future plan
also
 demonstrates the transformation of the living room into a massive
study
/bedroom.
This
 means that there will be 2
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
/bedrooms now joined together,
although
 the one in the original layout will now be a smaller size. Moving onto the kitchen,
this
 will now become a conjoined social area as well. The
overall
 space of the hall will decrease in order to make space for the ensuite bathroom.
Also
, the garden that was facing the South will be demolished and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
replaced with
parking
Correct article usage
a parking
show examples
 area.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure. Use paragraphs effectively, each of which should have a clear main idea supported by explanatory sentences. While your essay has a basic structure, it could benefit from clearer transitions and a more explicit connection between the ideas.
coherence cohesion
Regarding the introduction and conclusion, both components are crucial for setting up and then summarizing the main points of your text. Though you include a general overview, your essay lacks a definitive conclusion that wraps up the information presented. Include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay more effectively.
task achievement
To achieve task completion, it's important that you answer the prompt fully and provide a balanced treatment of all parts of the task. While your essay provides a response to the given task, it could be more complete with additional details and a comprehensive comparison between the current and planned house structure.
task achievement
In terms of clearly and comprehensively presenting your ideas, strive to explicate your points fully, ensuring that your description is not just a list but an insightful explanation. You touched upon the main ideas, but further elaboration on how the changes will affect the use of the house's space would enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
Regarding the use of relevant and specific examples, it's good that you included details from the plans; however, extending your description to include more specific information about how the changes may impact the function or aesthetic of the house could provide a more nuanced response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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