IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

this owning residential buildings advantage outweighed disadvantage

#buildings #advantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been widely claimed that owning residential buildings is more important than renting from
landlord
Add an article
the landlord
a landlord
show examples
 in some states.
This
 essay will
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 explain the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the case before elaborating
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
 I consider owning the property to be a positive circumstance. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with, it might seem reasonable for some to believe
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the claim.
This
 is
properly
Change the word
proper
show examples
 because they believe that procession in real estate assets might be able to give assistance to their life in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of financial perspective.
For example
, the price of the asset might be too significantly increasing to afford in the future because of inflation in the nation. From
this
 perspective, it is understandable why some would have the idea that being the owner of
Correct article usage
a houses
show examples
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
 might be one of
crucial
Add an article
the crucial
show examples
 factors for people.
However
, I personally believe that the circumstance leads to
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 side for the
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 because the higher
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
 to buy houses in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 would be one of the reasons to develop
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of the nation.
For instance
, it is able to expand the market because
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 would be
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 rate of enormous investment and employment from employees for new construction
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 to respond to the demands in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
As a consequence
, the government would be able to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 situation to persuade new investors to increase the growth of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
. In conclusion, it is undeniable to consider that processing with the housing buildings could be beneficial for the counties, especially in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of economic part.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea and that ideas transition smoothly from one to the next. Use cohesive devices appropriately to support this structure.
task achievement
Your essay needs to fully address all parts of the task. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages, and ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: