In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
There are an increasing number of problems regarding
students
’ behaviours at school
around the world. This
essay will discuss the causes of this
attitude and suggest some possible solutions.
In my opinion, two main factors are to blame for poor
Correct article usage
the poor
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
from
Change preposition
of
students
. Firstly
, teachers’ attitude
have a profound impact on student’s Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
behaviour
in class. This
means that any unfairness or biases from teachers can result in rebellious attitude
from Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
students
. Another explanation for this
kind of behaviour
is that some students
aren’t taught by their parents how they should behave at school
. It is assumed by the parents that it’s the school
’s job to do that. In fact, both of these factors contribute into
even Change preposition
to
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
issue
regarding Fix the agreement mistake
issues
student’s
Change noun form
student
behaviour
.
This
problem could be improved if people with higher positions in school
such
as the principal implement stricter regulations into the school
. In the long run, teachers as well as
students
should follow the rule, if not, detention or penalty for inappropriate behaviour
should be carried out. For instance
, students
left
their homework undone for too Wrong verb form
who leave
many
time will be assigned to detention Correct quantifier usage
much
afterschool
. Correct your spelling
after school
As a result
, they will be afraid of getting into detention thus
acting more appropriate
in class. Change the word
appropriately
Additionally
, to prevent biases, stricter rules for grading should be applied. This
can be shown through the act of taking out the name from the candidate’s paper to limit unfairness from the examiner. As for parents, they should taught
their Change the verb form
teach
be taught
child
at a young age Fix the agreement mistake
children
on
how to act properly at Change preposition
apply
school
as it will be passed on over generations.
In general, while
inappropriate actions from students
are
still Verb problem
apply
existed
, Wrong verb form
exist
this
can easily be improved by logic and rigid rules along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
with
parents’ support.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Ensure you fully develop your main ideas with clear explanations and more thorough examples. The essay provides a general discussion on the causes and solutions for student behaviour issues, however, some points are not elaborated in detail. For instance, when discussing teacher bias, include specific examples or scenarios to illustrate the issues and potential impacts. Similarly, when proposing solutions, give concrete examples of the rules or strategies that might be implemented and how they would directly address the problems identified.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a coherent sequence of sentences to support it. While your essay generally meets these criteria, there are instances where the argument could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more logical development. For example, in the paragraph about suggested solutions, separate your ideas into different sentences and expand on each one to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to create better flow and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. While you use some linking words appropriately, such as 'Firstly' and 'Additionally', more variety and more precise language will improve your overall score. Be cautious with repetitive structures and aim to use synonyms and complex sentence forms to express your ideas. Also, pay attention to articles and plural forms to avoid minor grammatical errors.
task achievement
Review and correct spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'worser' which should be 'worse', and pay attention to subject-verb agreement ('means that any unfairness or biases from teachers can result in rebellious attitude' should be 'biases... can result in a rebellious attitude'). These errors detract from the overall quality of the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?