In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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There are an increasing number of problems regarding

students

Use synonyms

’ behaviours at

school

Use synonyms

around the world.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the causes of

this

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attitude and suggest some possible solutions. In my opinion, two main factors are to blame for

poor

Correct article usage

the poor

show examples

behaviours

Fix the agreement mistake

behaviour

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

students

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, teachers’

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

have a profound impact on student’s

behaviour

Use synonyms

in class.

This

Linking Words

means that any unfairness or biases from teachers can result in rebellious

attitude

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attitudes

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from

students

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. Another explanation for

this

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kind of

behaviour

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is that some

students

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aren’t taught by their parents how they should behave at

school

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. It is assumed by the parents that it’s the

school

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’s job to do that. In fact, both of these factors contribute

into

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show examples

even

worser

Correct your spelling

worse

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

regarding

student’s

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student

show examples

behaviour

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

problem could be improved if people with higher positions in

school

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such

Linking Words

as the principal implement stricter regulations into the

school

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. In the long run, teachers

as well as

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

should follow the rule, if not, detention or penalty for inappropriate

behaviour

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should be carried out.

For instance

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

left

Wrong verb form

who leave

show examples

their homework undone for too

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

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time will be assigned to detention

afterschool

Correct your spelling

after school

show examples

As a result

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, they will be afraid of getting into detention

thus

Linking Words

acting more

appropriate

Change the word

appropriately

show examples

in class.

Additionally

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, to prevent biases, stricter rules for grading should be applied.

This

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can be shown through the act of taking out the name from the candidate’s paper to limit unfairness from the examiner. As for parents, they should

taught

Change the verb form

teach

be taught

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their

child

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children

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at a young age

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apply

show examples

how to act properly at

school

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as it will be passed on over generations. In general,

while

Linking Words

inappropriate actions from

students

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are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

still

existed

Wrong verb form

exist

show examples

this

Linking Words

can easily be improved by logic and rigid rules

along side

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alongside

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with

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apply

show examples

parents’ support.

trinhbakhanhlinhSun Dec 17 2023

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task achievement

Ensure you fully develop your main ideas with clear explanations and more thorough examples. The essay provides a general discussion on the causes and solutions for student behaviour issues, however, some points are not elaborated in detail. For instance, when discussing teacher bias, include specific examples or scenarios to illustrate the issues and potential impacts. Similarly, when proposing solutions, give concrete examples of the rules or strategies that might be implemented and how they would directly address the problems identified.

coherence cohesion

Make certain that your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a coherent sequence of sentences to support it. While your essay generally meets these criteria, there are instances where the argument could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more logical development. For example, in the paragraph about suggested solutions, separate your ideas into different sentences and expand on each one to enhance clarity and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to create better flow and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. While you use some linking words appropriately, such as 'Firstly' and 'Additionally', more variety and more precise language will improve your overall score. Be cautious with repetitive structures and aim to use synonyms and complex sentence forms to express your ideas. Also, pay attention to articles and plural forms to avoid minor grammatical errors.

task achievement

Review and correct spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'worser' which should be 'worse', and pay attention to subject-verb agreement ('means that any unfairness or biases from teachers can result in rebellious attitude' should be 'biases... can result in a rebellious attitude'). These errors detract from the overall quality of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disruptive behaviour
disciplinary problems
peer pressure
mental health
cultural factors
extracurricular activities
supervision
guidance
exposure
overcrowded classrooms
violent content
adolescents
stress
anxiety
boredom
misbehaviour
inappropriate content
media influence
stress management
conflict resolution

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In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Drug abuse has become a growing concern in modern society, affecting both individuals and communities. Understanding the root causes of this issue is essential to finding effective solutions.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?