the main reasons for immigration and emmigration in the uk in 2007

#immigration #emmigration #uk

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The pie charts below illustrate the 6 main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.

Overall

Linking Words

, in both

cases

Add a comma

cases,

show examples

the main reason why people immigrated and emigrated to the UK was

due to

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work. People were

also

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likely to come to the UK for educational purposes.

Additionally

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, people would leave to seek work

elsewhere

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. Looking at the pie chart on the left in more detail, more than a quarter ( 30%) immigrated

due to

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occupation. The next largest reason was because of formal study,

this

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was slightly above a quarter at 26. Other causes, looking for employment and

to join

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

family

Correct article usage

a family

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were all relatively the same, these figures respectively being 15, 12 and 11. The

least

Correct your spelling

last

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number was 6 for no

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

given. Looking at the other chart, the majority chose to leave because of a definite job,

this

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statistic was 29. Just under a quarter, 22 emigrated for work

elsewhere

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. No stated causes, other and to join

familyand

Correct your spelling

family and

friends had similar numbers of 18, 13, and 14. Only 4% would leave for formal study.

Submitted by abeera2012 on Sun Dec 17 2023

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Task Achievement

Your introduction provides a good starting point, but it misses the opportunity to define the topic's context more clearly, making the purpose of the essay immediately apparent to the reader. Consider weaving brief background information or stating the significance of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve the logical structure, transitions between the main points could be enhanced. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

You should include a conclusion to effectively summarize the main points of the essay and provide closure to the reader. A conclusion reinforces the arguments presented and gives the essay a sense of completeness.

Task Achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but to elevate the level of comprehensiveness, aim to elaborate on each point with more detail. Stick closer to the data presented in the pie charts to support your points. Doing so can make your analysis more thorough and grounded in the given information.

Task Achievement

Make sure to present specific examples directly from the pie charts to back up each point you discuss. While you mention percentages, a more explicit reference to the data can bolster the relevance and specificity of your examples, thereby enhancing the overall task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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the main reasons for immigration and emmigration in the uk in 2007

Fully explain your ideas

In spite of many advances women have made in education and unemployment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. What are the causes of this and what measures can be taken to solve?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Some people think that companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions?