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the main reasons for immigration and emmigration in the uk in 2007

#immigration #emmigration #uk
The pie charts below illustrate the 6 main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.
Overall
, in both
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 the main reason why people immigrated and emigrated to the UK was
due to
 work. People were
also
 likely to come to the UK for educational purposes.
Additionally
, people would leave to seek work
elsewhere
. Looking at the pie chart on the left in more detail, more than a quarter ( 30%) immigrated
due to
 occupation. The next largest reason was because of formal study,
this
 was slightly above a quarter at 26. Other causes, looking for employment and
to join
Change the verb form
joining
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family
Correct article usage
a family
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 were all relatively the same, these figures respectively being 15, 12 and 11. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
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 number was 6 for no
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 given. Looking at the other chart, the majority chose to leave because of a definite job,
this
 statistic was 29. Just under a quarter, 22 emigrated for work
elsewhere
. No stated causes, other and to join
familyand
Correct your spelling
family and
 friends had similar numbers of 18, 13, and 14. Only 4% would leave for formal study.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction provides a good starting point, but it misses the opportunity to define the topic's context more clearly, making the purpose of the essay immediately apparent to the reader. Consider weaving brief background information or stating the significance of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, transitions between the main points could be enhanced. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
You should include a conclusion to effectively summarize the main points of the essay and provide closure to the reader. A conclusion reinforces the arguments presented and gives the essay a sense of completeness.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but to elevate the level of comprehensiveness, aim to elaborate on each point with more detail. Stick closer to the data presented in the pie charts to support your points. Doing so can make your analysis more thorough and grounded in the given information.
Task Achievement
Make sure to present specific examples directly from the pie charts to back up each point you discuss. While you mention percentages, a more explicit reference to the data can bolster the relevance and specificity of your examples, thereby enhancing the overall task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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