Plan A shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how a health
centre
has changed from 2005 until now.
Overall
, the
centre
has been expanded with more buildings and facilities for serving residents.
Besides
, there is a completely new
entrance
and more space for parking. In 2005, the
centre
was surrounded by agricultural land and people entered it through an
entrance
to the south, which led into the biggest area in the middle for the reception. There were three rooms for those who came to be consulted, two were to the east of the reception area and the other one was to the southwest of the encounter area, and placed in the vicinity of the office. It is
also
noticeable that only 12 spaces for car parking were built near the
entrance
and a physiotherapy room in the north of the
centre
. At present, the parking space has been expanded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
30 spaces,
whereas
the room for consulting to the southwest have been demolished to make way for two new small consulting room and a children's playground.
As a result
, the
centre
now
witnesses
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
the relocation of the
entrance
leading to the children's playground which shares space with the reception desk.
By contrast
, other buildings have stayed intact
while
a new minor operations place has been opened adjacent to the physiotherapy place.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introductory paragraph that sets the context for the reader. Your introduction is present but slightly lacks context.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical sequencing of your ideas throughout the essay. The transitions between sentences and paragraphs should lead the reader through the information smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main changes effectively, which can elevate the writing with a strong finish.
task achievement
Be detailed in your response, ensuring that you capture all significant changes. A few minor points are missed or not elaborated upon.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas fully to convey a more comprehensive understanding of the changes.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your points, and make sure to explicitly compare and contrast features where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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