In some countries, children start school at the age of four, while in other countries they start at seven. What is the ideal age for a child to begin formal education?

In the modern age, education
play
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plays
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a crucial to the development
mental
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of mental
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and
cognotive
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cognitive
power. In some nations, young
child
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children
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start
thier
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their
primary school at the age of four,
while
innn
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in
the other
coumtries
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countries
the
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they
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begin at seven. The essay
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describes
descibes
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describes
what is the ideal age
of
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for
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a young child to start formal education and what is the
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and does not have a conclusion, which are critical elements in IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. Ensure that you have a distinct paragraph to introduce the topic and set the context, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement as it seems to lose direction midway through. A good IELTS essay should have clear, logically connected paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
supported main points
The essay has started to present an argument but does not develop it fully or provide adequate support. Main ideas need to be expanded with explanation and relevant examples. Make sure each point is supported with evidence or examples.
complete response
The response is incomplete as the essay is unfinished. To achieve a higher score, you need to develop a full essay that responds to all parts of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay lacks clarity and comprehensive development of ideas. Work on fully articulating your point of view with clear supporting ideas and explanations throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples are scarce or non-existent in this essay. Incorporate specific examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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