Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, money invested by

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

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in the

arts

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such

Linking Words

as music and theatre, has triggered widespread debate.

Although

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a portion of the population believes that money should

invest

Wrong verb form

be invested

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in public service. I hold a strong stance that

government

Use synonyms

should

Change the verb form

continue

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continues

Add the particle

continues to

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support the development of

arts

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is the most reasonable perspective.

This

Linking Words

essay will first acknowledge the opposing viewpoint, and

then

Linking Words

explain support for the

arts

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is more justified. On one side of the discussion, it is understandable why some people argue that the allocation of

government

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funds should

invest

Wrong verb form

be invested

show examples

in public

services

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due to

Linking Words

practical or social considerations. A prominent explanation for

this

Linking Words

view is public

services

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such

Linking Words

as healthcare, education and infrastructure directly impact people’s quality of life. Without these

services

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, society would face significant challenges in maintaining health, security and basics of standards of life. Investing in healthcare provides better medical facilities,

while

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funds for education lead to more schools and improved literacy. Public service improvements are more visible and provide immediate relief to societal issues.

However

Linking Words

, the

arts

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foster creativity, innovation, and cultural identity. Music, theatre, and other forms of artistic expression not only entertain but

also

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educate and inspire individuals. Cultural activities contribute to a nation’s

Change preposition

apply

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power, boosting tourism and the creative economy.

For example

Linking Words

, cities known for their vibrant

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arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

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scenes,

such

Linking Words

as London and Paris, attract millions of visitors annually, generating significant revenue. Ignoring

such

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cultural investment would undermine a country’s global influence and cultural development. In conclusion,

while

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public

services

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are essential, dismissing

government

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investment in the

arts

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as a waste of money is a narrow perspective. The

arts

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enrich cultural identity, promote social cohesion , and contribute to the economy.

Therefore

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, a balanced approach that values both the

arts

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and public

services

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is essential for fostering a thriving and well-rounded society.

chiewwing_1210Thu Jan 30 2025

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the natural flow of ideas from one point to another.

task achievement

Try including more specific examples or case studies to further illustrate your points and add depth to your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively outlines the main argument and sets the stage for the discussion, showing a clear understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging opposing viewpoints and reinforcing the stance on arts funding.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion succinctly wraps up the argument, reiterating the importance of a balanced approach between arts and public services.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your oponion.

some perants buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantaged for the child of having a large number of toys

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.