some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation of committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Punishments
for all kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
crimes
are very useful as social control in society. People have different arguments there should be fixed punishments
for any crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
while
others against
Add a missing verb
are against
that
rules. I believe fixed Correct determiner usage
those
punishments
should be standard to make life more orderly.
On the one hand, specific punishments
can be helpful for avoiding every single crimes
. In that case, everyone will consider Change to a singular noun
crime
to
not doing any Change preposition
apply
crimes
because they know that every crimes
has certain Change to a singular noun
crime
punishments
. For example
, when individual
Correct article usage
an individual
robs
some money they will be sure Verb problem
borrows
getting
a stiff punishment, Change the verb form
to get
although
they do that for good action. In my opinion, the rule for that action can be very useful to decrease the number of crimes
and make a safety
society.
Replace the word
safer
On the other hand
, taking consideration for some crimes
can ensuring
justice and equality. Wrong verb form
ensure
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
Sometime
people Correct your spelling
Sometimes
has
Change the verb form
have
specific
reason why they Add an article
a specific
do
Verb problem
commit
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
crimes
, not only because of their desire but also
coercive
circumstances. A person who does not have money to Change preposition
because coercive
taking
medicine for their Wrong verb form
take
love
ones can do everything to get Replace the word
loved
that things
even willing to steal money. But, whatever the reason of the Change the determiner
that thing
those things
crimes
it can not be accepted because that can give a chance to others to do the same thing and the number of crimes
can also
increase.
In conclusion, I can understand why some people think that circumstances and motivation
of individual Fix the agreement mistake
motivations
crimes
have to be considered on taking punishments
. But, I believe every crimes
have to Change to a singular noun
crime
has
standard Change the verb
have
punishments
to avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
another
Replace the adjective
another crime
other crimes
crimes
in the future.Submitted by Nabillaa808 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity in the logical progression of your ideas. The structure is somewhat recognizable but it isn't always clear or logical. Aim to present your points in a manner that leads your reader clearly from one to the next, clarifying the relationship between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present but lacked a clear thesis statement and conclusive summary respectively. Make sure your introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while stating your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your main points were somewhat supported, the use of examples could be more specific and relevant to strengthen your argument. When giving examples, ensure they are directly related to your point and elaborate on them to demonstrate their relevance clearly.
Task Achievement
The response while complete, seemed quite surface-level in exploring the task's topic. Each view was acknowledged but not explored in depth, and the personal stance could be made more evident. Ensure you discuss the implications of each view comprehensively and articulate your own position with conviction.
Task Achievement
The ideas in your essay were understandable but not always comprehensive. When presenting arguments, they should be unpacked and analyzed, providing the reader with a thorough understanding of all aspects of the argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay provided general examples, but they lacked specificity and detail. To effectively use examples, they should be relevant and clear, illustrating the point you are trying to make in a way that supports the argument. Avoid generic or vague scenarios that do not add weight to your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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