Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few
individual
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individuals
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believe that learning things at university is the better way. It is commonly believed that
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
makes people
best
Correct article usage
the best
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in their
life
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whilst there are others who
prostulate
Correct your spelling
postulate
postulated
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after school
life
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ending
Wrong verb form
ends
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people should
be go
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go
show examples
for a
job
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. In my opinion,I believe that
study
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is the best option in everyone's
life
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Everyone has to
fillup
Correct your spelling
fill up
show examples
their University
Life
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. On the one hand, becoming a studious
person
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gives you a
backet
Correct your spelling
basket
bucket
packet
of knowledge and higher
study
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is essential for
become
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becoming
show examples
graduate
Correct article usage
a graduate
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. A fully
graduative
Correct your spelling
graduated
person
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is
a
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an
show examples
honourable
person
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in their
life
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and they don't need any favour to get a
job
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. It is
therefore
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agreed that
,
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apply
show examples
a fully
graduative
Correct your spelling
graduated
person
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can get a
job
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easily because of their degrees,which they will achieve from higher
study
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. In
Correct article usage
the daily
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daily star
Correct your spelling
Daily Star
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, every week
a
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an
show examples
article
has been
Wrong verb form
is
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given by many companies,
which
Change preposition
about which
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company
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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manager
Correct article usage
a manager
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,
Officer
Correct article usage
an Officer
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etc. A
compolsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
fully
graduative
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graduating
graduation
graduate
document needed,for
job
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certificate.
On the other hand
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, there are some other individuals who
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that after completing school
life
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straight
Rephrase
apply
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get
Wrong verb form
getting
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a
job
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is a better option and it deprives
from
Change the preposition
of
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time wastage.
However
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, School
life
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is just
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
first step in everyone's
life
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.
According to
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some people
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a
job
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can give
money
Correct pronoun usage
them money
show examples
and
also
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saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
time.
Otherwise
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completing full
study
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is
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
in
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
life
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. In my opinion, updating the future can change our generation.
Therefore
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, It is possible when we look
our
Change preposition
at our
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learning thing seriously.
For instance
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, In many
tv
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TV
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news,
such
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as Jamuna
tv
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TV
show examples
,
channel
Correct word choice
and channel
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24, they
telecast
Verb problem
broadcast
show examples
the broadcast of
job
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interview
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
show examples
, where every
gradutive
Correct your spelling
graduating
graduate
graduation
person
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gives their viva test. In conclusion,
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study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
is a very essential thing in
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
Life
Use synonyms
.
Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
we know that knowledge is one of the biggest
power
Fix the agreement mistake
powers
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
generation. So, we should
study
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more and more for our upcoming future. Only knowledge can save our future.
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logically connected ideas. The paragraph structure needs improvement, with better topic sentences and development of ideas. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be smooth and demonstrate clear connections. Avoid repetitive and incomplete sentences. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It is necessary to discuss both sides of the argument equally before providing a personal opinion. The response should be expanded to include specific examples and explanations of points made. Please make sure to directly respond to all parts of the task, ensuring a clear and complete presentation of your views on the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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