Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
believe that learning things at university is the better way. It is commonly believed that
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
makes people
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
in their
life
whilst there are others who
prostulate
Correct your spelling
postulate
postulated
that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after school
life
ending
Wrong verb form
ends
show examples
people should
be go
Change the verb form
go
show examples
for a
job
. In my opinion,I believe that
study
is the best option in everyone's
life
.
Moreover
, Everyone has to
fillup
Correct your spelling
fill up
show examples
their University
Life
. On the one hand, becoming a studious
person
gives you a
backet
Correct your spelling
basket
bucket
packet
of knowledge and higher
study
is essential for
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
graduate
Correct article usage
a graduate
show examples
. A fully
graduative
Correct your spelling
graduated
person
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
honourable
person
in their
life
and they don't need any favour to get a
job
. It is
therefore
agreed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a fully
graduative
Correct your spelling
graduated
person
can get a
job
easily because of their degrees,which they will achieve from higher
study
. In
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
daily star
Correct your spelling
Daily Star
show examples
, every week
a
Change the article
an
show examples
article
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
given by many companies,
which
Change preposition
about which
show examples
company
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
manager
Correct article usage
a manager
show examples
,
Officer
Correct article usage
an Officer
show examples
etc. A
compolsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
fully
graduative
Correct your spelling
graduating
graduation
graduate
document needed,for
job
certificate.
On the other hand
, there are some other individuals who
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that after completing school
life
straight
Rephrase
apply
show examples
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a
job
is a better option and it deprives
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
time wastage.
However
, School
life
is just
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
first step in everyone's
life
.
According to
some people
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a
job
can give
money
Correct pronoun usage
them money
show examples
and
also
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
time.
Otherwise
completing full
study
is
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
in
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
life
. In my opinion, updating the future can change our generation.
Therefore
, It is possible when we look
our
Change preposition
at our
show examples
learning thing seriously.
For instance
, In many
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
news,
such
as Jamuna
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
,
channel
Correct word choice
and channel
show examples
24, they
telecast
Verb problem
broadcast
show examples
the broadcast of
job
interview
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
show examples
, where every
gradutive
Correct your spelling
graduating
graduate
graduation
person
gives their viva test. In conclusion,
study
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
is a very essential thing in
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
Life
.
Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
we know that knowledge is one of the biggest
power
Fix the agreement mistake
powers
show examples
in
this
generation. So, we should
study
more and more for our upcoming future. Only knowledge can save our future.
Submitted by ilhanctg2019 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logically connected ideas. The paragraph structure needs improvement, with better topic sentences and development of ideas. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be smooth and demonstrate clear connections. Avoid repetitive and incomplete sentences. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It is necessary to discuss both sides of the argument equally before providing a personal opinion. The response should be expanded to include specific examples and explanations of points made. Please make sure to directly respond to all parts of the task, ensuring a clear and complete presentation of your views on the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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