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Band 5

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

#people #men #women #job #jobs
Many people argue that
men
 are equal to
women
 .
On the other hand
, many people argue that
men
 and
women
 are not equal . I believe that
men
 and
women
 are not equal. In some ways,
men
 are better and in some
ways
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
women
 are better.
For example
, in construction and manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 / physical
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
,
men
 are better.
In contrast
,
women
 are better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 memorizing and effective communication.
Therefore
, EVEN THOUGH
men
 and
women
 are not equal, they are each better at certain things. 
Men
 and
women
 are not equal because they have certain traits that are unique to each gender.
For instance
,
men
 are often physically more powerful than
women
.
On the other hand
,
women
 can often be much more patient than
men
.
Therefore
, though
men
 and
women
 are not “equal”,
this
 does not mean that one is better than the other.
Men
 and
women
 both share unique qualities that should be celebrated.  In the workforce, there are many jobs that require certain skills. Some of these skills may come more naturally to
men
 or to
women
.
For instance
,
men
 are on average stronger than
women
 physically. In fields where physical strength is required,
such
 as construction or security, may come more naturally to
men
.
Women
,
however
, can often be seen as more empathetic and caring individuals.
As a result
, industries that require listening, communication, and sympathy may come more naturally to
women
.  Even though many people argue that
men
 and
women
 are equal, in some areas they simply are not. Whether it’s the different characteristics that
men
 and
women
 share that set them apart
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 or the different jobs they may be more inclined to do,
men
 and
women
 have different physical features and emotional
demeanors
Change the spelling
demeanours
show examples
 that help them to succeed at certain tasks. These differences between
men
 and
women
 should be celebrated and not shunned. Even though we live in a world where anyone can do any job they choose, it’s important to recognize the qualities and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strengths that each gender brings to the table.
Submitted by hoomajkzhomaei on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument without contradicting each other. The introduction briefly presented both sides, but the conclusion should explicitly state your stance for coherence.
logical structure
To boost your score in coherence and cohesion, aim for a more clearly defined structure in your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate ideas and introduce connective words to link them together.
supported main points
When providing arguments, support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. This would strengthen your persuasion and clarity.
complete response
Your task response requires a more direct answer to the question and a discussion of the prompt more thoroughly. State and develop your opinion throughout the essay, rather than presenting it as an afterthought.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to create a compelling argument. Avoid generic statements and strive to analyze issues deeply to produce a more comprehensive response.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your opinions. Avoid broad generalizations without evidence to improve your task achievement score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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