In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s dynamic literacy platform, several youths prefer work-based training programs rather than formal tutoring at the university. Despite its leverage on the students and society, the internship has some constraints in several areas.
It is believed that
practicing
what has been taught in real-life conditions is an excellent method for students to gain particular practical skills. Change the spelling
practising
Moreover
, the flexibility, dynamic, and vibrant working environment could enhance their soft-skill ability if the working environment suits their certain competencies. Furthermore
, in some conditions, they will also
earn adequate salaries as a trainee that will be utilised for their formal education payment.
On the other hand
, the pedagogy is arguably preferable for the white-collar occupation. In addition
, a level of learning is still one of the paramount requirements for applying to high-level companies. For example
, some companies in Indonesia require the minimum level of education for their management trainee program to be a master's degree, which can only be fulfilled by candidates who have tertiary-level learning.
Furthermore
, it is arguably predicted that in the following years, the function of administrative skills such
as,
preparing a letter and copyediting will be fully replaced by artificial intelligence which leads to the encouragement of worker to improve their capability by undertaking formal schooling at the university rather than part-time internship program.
Concluding the essay, Remove the comma
apply
although
the perks of work-based training exist. I predominantly believe that the drawbacks, which can be covered by formal teaching at the university, exceed the benefits that can be obtained.Submitted by dwityawaskitoent on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the position is not entirely clear throughout the essay. Clearer and more definitive statements should be made to convey a strong stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ideas need to be linked more effectively with cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences. Work on the logical flow of information and make smoother transitions between your points.
task achievement
While main points are touched upon, they require further support and development. Use more specific examples and evidence to underpin each argument and demonstrate strong task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are both present and that they effectively set up and summarize the main points of the essay, providing a clear opinion on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!