The diagram below show the change that have taken place at Queen Mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagram below show the change that have taken place at Queen Mary hospital since its construction in 1960.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps show the differences that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the three maps reveals a change from ordinary town buildings to mainly medicinal
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. As the diagrams suggest, in 1960 we can see various places.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the left
side
Use synonyms
were
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
center and farmland.
However
Linking Words
, after twenty years
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
left
side
Use synonyms
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
cancer
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
,
pharmacy
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacies
show examples
and nursing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, hospital and car park in 1960 is the same as
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
show examples
years.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in 2000 years we can clarify that
nursing
Correct article usage
the nursing
show examples
school
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the left
side
Use synonyms
attached
Add a missing verb
is attached
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
right
side
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
cancel
Correct article usage
the cancel
show examples
centre became more largely in comparison with the
last
Linking Words
picture.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park and nursing school shifted smaller.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pharmacy remained the same as.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: