IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram below show the change that have taken place at Queen Mary hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagram below show the change that have taken place at Queen Mary hospital since its construction in 1960.
#show #change #place #queen #mary #construction
The maps show the differences that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Overall
, a comparison of the three maps reveals a change from ordinary town buildings to mainly medicinal
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. As the diagrams suggest, in 1960 we can see various places.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the left
side
 were
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
 center and farmland.
However
, after twenty years
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 left
side
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
 cancer
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
,
pharmacy
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacies
show examples
 and nursing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
Whereas
, hospital and car park in 1960 is the same as
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
show examples
 years.
Likewise
, in 2000 years we can clarify that
nursing
Correct article usage
the nursing
show examples
 school
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left
side
attached
Add a missing verb
is attached
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 right
side
.
Furthermore
,
cancel
Correct article usage
the cancel
show examples
 centre became more largely in comparison with the
last
 picture.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 park and nursing school shifted smaller.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pharmacy remained the same as.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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