The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.
The line
ilustrates
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illustrates
the average
number
of patients visiting four
hospital's
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hospital
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clinics for a week from 2010 to 2016. It is noticeable that
number
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a number
the number
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of patients significantly
raised
Verb problem
increased
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in
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at
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the end of
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
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.
To begin
,
people
adressed
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addressed
dressed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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birth control and eye service
for
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apply
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the most.
However
Add a comma
However,
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they began at different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. Birth control in 2010 stood at about 250
people
,
whereas
the eye service began between 100 to 150
people
. Birth control fluctuated every year and reached a peak
number
of
people
about under 200
people
in 2014.
While
the eye service reached
a
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the
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lowest
number
at 150
people
in 2012 and
then
gradually increased until
at
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apply
show examples
the end of
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
. Diabetic had
same
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the same
show examples
level at
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
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as dental which stood at between 50 and 100
people
.
Diabetic
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Diabetics
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fluctuated every year. It reached the highest
number
at between 100 and 150
at
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in
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2016.
However
, it
also
reached the lowest
number
at 50 in 2012.
In addition
,
diabetic
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diabetes
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tend
Wrong verb form
tended
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to gradually
increased
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increase
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until reached
the
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its
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highest
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 150 to 200
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
2016. But It
also
passed the reduction at almost 100 in 2014
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • average
  • weekly patients
  • clinics
  • hospital
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • fluctuations
  • comparative analysis
  • time period
  • consistent
  • inconsistent
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • decline
  • rise
  • remained stable
  • notable
  • significant
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