students should choose a university major that prepares them for high paying careers. To what extent do you agree with this statement. Mark for me and give me a band

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Nowadays, making
money
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have
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has
show examples
become
Correct article usage
an importent
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importent
Correct your spelling
important
issue and everyone is looking for a way to earn
money
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. Some people believe that students have to pick a major in university
that is
Linking Words
well-paid. I think
this
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trend is considered to be positive compared with negligible negative aspects. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
hand, there are some grave consequences in picking a major only for earning
money
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.
Firstly
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, you cannot learn a major that you are interested in.
In other words
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, you may lose your motivation, meanwhile you are studying
this
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subject
due to
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the fact that you do not like it and it can be a challenging situation.
In addition
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, I am aware of the fact that the average income of some jobs
are
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is
show examples
less than others, but if you are professional in your
job
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, you can make
huge
Add an article
a huge
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amount of
money
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,
such
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
in econemics
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econemics
Correct your spelling
economics
.
Therefore
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, it is somehow plausible that someone is keen on learning a major that love.
On the other hand
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, picking a well-paid major has some plus points. To start with, living in
this
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world is too
expensice beacause
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expensive because
it includes a lot of expenditures
such
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as
foods
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food
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, transportation and accommodation, so people need to have well-paid
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job
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jobs
show examples
to deal with these issues.
Moreover
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, after
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you find
a
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an
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excellent
job
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you can go to university again and learn a major that you like. Take my father as an example, he
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firstly
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was firstly
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educated in marketing management and
next,
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he found a perfect
job
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,
after
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this
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point he learnt accountancy
that
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which
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was his
favorite
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favourite
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major.
As a result
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, it can be certainly said that choosing a well-paid major is not only beneficial
,
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apply
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but
also
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necessary. All things considered, choosing a major that makes us earn
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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money
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brings us some disadvantages.
However
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, in
future
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future,
show examples
we can easily live and our
quility
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quality
of life cannot be compared with when we need
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on

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Introduction
A more effective introduction could better present your thesis and offer a clearer roadmap of what you will discuss. Additionally, be careful with generalizations and sweeping statements. Aim to present a nuanced perspective that reflects the complexity of the issue.
Cohesion
In terms of logical structure, transitions between ideas can be smoother, and the essay can benefit from a more logical progression of your arguments. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
Support
While your main points are supported, it's important to delve deeper into each point with more detailed explanations and examples. Simple assertions should be backed by stronger evidence or more compelling examples that add weight to your argument.
Task Response
While you have addressed the task, your response could be more complete by addressing counterarguments more thoroughly and providing a more balanced view of both sides of the argument. This will demonstrate a full understanding of the prompt.
Language
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve the clarity of your writing. Errors can detract from the message and make it difficult for the reader to understand your arguments. Proofreading is essential.
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