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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart compares the proportion of households that bought and rented accommodation in England and
wales
Capitalize word
Wales
show examples
 in a
cetern
Correct your spelling
certain
 period of time from 1918 to 2011.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, The percentage of
famlies
Correct your spelling
families
 in rented living places were much higher rather than
famlied
Correct your spelling
families
 in owned between 1918 and 1961,
while
Linking Words
 the numeric data shows
otherwise
Linking Words
 between
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
 of time from 1981 to 2011. It is evident that the proportion gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 ways of living in a
house
Use synonyms
 were very
wind
Replace the word
windy
show examples
 in three period of time, especially in 1918 the data of households rented
house
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was over 50% higher than
house
Use synonyms
 buying. Until in1961, the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 data
shows
Verb problem
was
show examples
 smaller and only was 20%.
This
Linking Words
 year is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 point in 1971 that there were
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of families who rented and bought accommodation. From 1981 to 2011, the situation was contrary that people who bought living places as their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 person rented
Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 trend of changes
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 two ways
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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