In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?

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In
todays
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today's

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instelmant of modern
busines
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business

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most of the time in
the
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apply

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comercials
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commercials

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they use inovationa and new technology as
a
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apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun bait in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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bait to buy a
proudct
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product

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. Assuming that living in a capitalistic society businesses use
this
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kind of
advertisment
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advertisement

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to reach the biggest group of people to maximalize their sales and profits.
This
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kind of
practieses
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practice

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are
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is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject kind. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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called
agresive
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aggressive

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marketing.
Offten
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Often

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product of their ad is not
that
Correct word choice
as

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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new as they say.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could
led
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lead

The verb led after the modal verb could does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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to the assumption that
modern
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the modern

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world
id
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is

The word id doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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full of new stuff which is not true and it could
missleading
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misleading

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for ordinary people. I
belive
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believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
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today's
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todays
Change noun form
today's

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world might be full of new and
inovative
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innovative

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Fix the agreement mistake
products
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product
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products

It seems that product may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but
becouse
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because

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of
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Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
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this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds

It seems that this kind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
practisses
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practises

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make us as a target more numb. We do not need more and more of the new stuff as the ads claim to be,
instead
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

often times
Correct your spelling
oftentimes

The word often times seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not we need
trust worthy
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trustworthy

The word trust worthy seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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and stable
product
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products

It seems that product may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that we could use for years to come. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

type of
practices
Fix the agreement mistake
practice

It seems that practices may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject type. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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negative
compere
Correct your spelling
compared

The word compere doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to more and more
worring
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worrying

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information about
societys
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societies
society
society's

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over-consumption. But rising discussion about
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

type of
practies
Correct your spelling
practice

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can lead to positive outcomes
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as changing the law of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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media advertising to stop the spread
the
Change preposition
of the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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negative
conseqences
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consequences

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of
agresive
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aggressive

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marketing.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Consistent mistakes can detract significantly from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
content
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Vague statements do not adequately demonstrate understanding of the topic.
cohesion
Work on creating clear, well-structured sentences that flow well from one to the next, enhancing coherence and cohesion within your writing.
task response
Address all parts of the task with a balanced discussion, and ensure you have a clear position throughout the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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