IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?

#businesses #emphasise #products #practice #development
In
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 instelmant of modern
busines
Correct your spelling
business
 most of the time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comercials
Correct your spelling
commercials
 they use inovationa and new technology as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bait to buy a
proudct
Correct your spelling
product
. Assuming that living in a capitalistic society businesses use
this
 kind of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 to reach the biggest group of people to maximalize their sales and profits.
This
 kind of
practieses
Correct your spelling
practice
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 called
agresive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
 marketing.
Offten
Correct your spelling
Often
 product of their ad is not
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 new as they say.
This
 could
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to the assumption that
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 world
id
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 full of new stuff which is not true and it could
missleading
Correct your spelling
misleading
 for ordinary people. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
Change noun form
today's
show examples
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 world might be full of new and
inovative
Correct your spelling
innovative
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 but
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
practisses
Correct your spelling
practises
 make us as a target more numb. We do not need more and more of the new stuff as the ads claim to be,
instead
often times
Correct your spelling
oftentimes
show examples
then
 not we need
trust worthy
Correct your spelling
trustworthy
show examples
 and stable
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 that we could use for years to come. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
this
 type of
practices
Fix the agreement mistake
practice
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 negative
compere
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
 to more and more
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
 information about
societys
Correct your spelling
societies
society
society's
 over-consumption. But rising discussion about
this
 type of
practies
Correct your spelling
practice
 can lead to positive outcomes
such
 as changing the law of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
media advertising to stop the spread
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 negative
conseqences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of
agresive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
 marketing.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Consistent mistakes can detract significantly from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
content
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Vague statements do not adequately demonstrate understanding of the topic.
cohesion
Work on creating clear, well-structured sentences that flow well from one to the next, enhancing coherence and cohesion within your writing.
task response
Address all parts of the task with a balanced discussion, and ensure you have a clear position throughout the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: