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Band 2.5

In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?

#businesses #emphasise #products #practice #development
In
todays
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today's
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 instelmant of modern
busines
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business
 most of the time in
the
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apply
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comercials
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commercials
 they use inovationa and new technology as
a
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apply
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bait to buy a
proudct
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product
. Assuming that living in a capitalistic society businesses use
this
 kind of
advertisment
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advertisement
 to reach the biggest group of people to maximalize their sales and profits.
This
 kind of
practieses
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practice
are
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is
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 called
agresive
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aggressive
 marketing.
Offten
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Often
 product of their ad is not
that
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as
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 new as they say.
This
 could
led
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lead
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 to the assumption that
modern
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the modern
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 world
id
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is
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 full of new stuff which is not true and it could
missleading
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misleading
 for ordinary people. I
belive
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believe
show examples
 that
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today's
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todays
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today's
show examples
 world might be full of new and
inovative
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innovative
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products
show examples
product
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products
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 but
becouse
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because
 of
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these kinds
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this kind
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these kinds
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 of
practisses
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practises
 make us as a target more numb. We do not need more and more of the new stuff as the ads claim to be,
instead
often times
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oftentimes
show examples
then
 not we need
trust worthy
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trustworthy
show examples
 and stable
product
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products
show examples
 that we could use for years to come. I
belive
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believe
show examples
 that
this
 type of
practices
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practice
show examples
are
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is
show examples
 negative
compere
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compared
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 to more and more
worring
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worrying
 information about
societys
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societies
society
society's
 over-consumption. But rising discussion about
this
 type of
practies
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practice
 can lead to positive outcomes
such
 as changing the law of
the
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apply
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media advertising to stop the spread
the
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of the
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 negative
conseqences
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consequences
 of
agresive
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aggressive
 marketing.
Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
grammar
Be mindful of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Consistent mistakes can detract significantly from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
content
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Vague statements do not adequately demonstrate understanding of the topic.
cohesion
Work on creating clear, well-structured sentences that flow well from one to the next, enhancing coherence and cohesion within your writing.
task response
Address all parts of the task with a balanced discussion, and ensure you have a clear position throughout the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
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