Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Zoology
parks
are quit
common in any country, Nowadays it is Correct your spelling
quite
quiet
often to have Correct your spelling
quite
atleast
one zoo in the city. Correct your spelling
at least
Moreover
, Zoo's
Change noun form
zoos
had
become Wrong verb form
have
a
tourist Correct article usage
apply
attraction
for visitors Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
specially
for kids and school children. Zoological Replace the word
especially
parks
are more often find
as Wrong verb form
found
two sided
swords.To start with, most often Add a hyphen
two-sided
parks
are maintained by private organisations. As they are privately sourced, From business
Correct article usage
a business
prospective
, each organisation are dealt Correct your spelling
perspective
to make
profits and Change preposition
with making
able
to financially strong to fund there staff. Add a missing verb
is able
Consequently
, As part of business
audience is entertained by making Add an article
the business
animals
to
do some tricks like walking on Change the verb form
apply
rope
by Add an article
a rope
the rope
monkey
, The Tiger jumping through a ring of fire and Dolphins jumping Add an article
a monkey
the monkey
of
Change preposition
off
water
and slashing water on Correct article usage
the water
audience
. But to make them trained a lot Correct article usage
the audience
is happen
under the hood. These Change the verb form
is happening
animal
go through Fix the agreement mistake
animals
lot
of suffering before they learn all these tricks. Change the article
a lot
Some time
they are kept starved for days. There are Correct your spelling
Sometimes
few
incidents reported by some news Correct article usage
a few
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
that
Change preposition
in
these
Correct pronoun usage
which these
animals
are handled with extremely
cruelty. So, to overcome Change the word
extreme
this
kind of behaviour some law
and Fix the agreement mistake
laws
regulation
to be maintained. Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
Moreover
, if they are broken the parks
to be shut immediately without any excuses.On the other hand
, There are numerous sources from which these animals
can be helpful for themselves and for human being
. As the human population is growing enormously these Fix the agreement mistake
beings
spices
are Correct your spelling
species
in
endangered. As per Change preposition
apply
survey
more than twenty thousand Correct article usage
the survey
spices
of Correct your spelling
species
animals
gone
extinct So, Zoological Add a missing verb
have gone
parks
are the best places to keep them safe. More often many people kill these animals
for there
own profits. Correct your spelling
their
For example
, Deer are killed for horns
, Elephants for Correct pronoun usage
their horns
Correct pronoun usage
their Tooth's
Tooth's
and Change noun form
Tooth
Tiger's
for Change noun form
Tiger
there
skin.Correct your spelling
their
To conclude
with
, Change preposition
apply
Animals
can be trained to entertained
for the Change the verb
entertain
audience
purpose. But, As they are living Change noun form
audience's
source
they should not be dealt with cruelty.Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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task response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The task asked you to discuss both views and give your opinion, but your opinion was not clearly stated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear topic sentences and logical paragraphing which makes it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. Work on establishing a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammatical range and accuracy. The essay contains numerous grammatical errors which makes it hard to understand. All sentences should be structurally sound and grammatically correct.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings to improve readability and maintain the reader's interest. Try to use a variety of structures and vocabulary.
task response
Ensure that you paraphrase the essay prompt correctly to avoid any misunderstandings of the topic. Misrepresenting the topic can lead to a lower score.
coherence cohesion
Make certain that the conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay and clearly states your opinion to provide a satisfactory closure.
task response
Always use specific examples to support your ideas. This not only demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic but also makes your argument more compelling.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
