Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas

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Many factories and retail

busineses

Correct your spelling

businesses

are encouraged by the authority to shift to rural areas from big towns.

This

essay discusses the demerits and merits of

this

development

while

also

stating why I believe that it is mostly a positive development. There are many advantages of moving

busineeses

Correct your spelling

businesses

outside the

cities

Firstly

, it is going to reduce traffic congestion as more professionals will migrate to countryside dwellings for their work, reducing

Correct article usage

the

show examples

large of cars on the road; thereby, leading to

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

vehicles on the road. In

additon

Correct your spelling

addition

to solving vehicular bottlenecks,

cities

air quality will improve considerably.

For example

, in my city of New Delhi, many people

suffers

Change the verb form

suffer

show examples

from lung diseases,

such

as asthma

due to

the harmful emission of

motorvehicles'

Correct your spelling

motor vehicles'

smoke and the deleterious gases of factories, which are released into the atmosphere.

Therefore

such

repercussions of living in

cities

could be resolved if commercial activities were more distributed rather than concentrated

Change preposition

show examples

a few regionals and

hence

, the urbanisation of villages

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be highly auspicious for

a township dwellers

Correct the article-noun agreement

township dwellers

a township dweller

show examples

. On the other, there are many

disadvanatges

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modernization in the outskirts of larger towns. First of all, it can

negative

Change the adjective

negatively

show examples

impact wilderness because more forests and agricultural fields need to be sacrificed to bolster the

businesses

Change the noun form

business

show examples

development in those areas.

Additonally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, it will significantly distort the beauty of those places that are always the go-to place for people seeking

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

and

serene

Correct article usage

a serene

show examples

atmosphere , who find great relief

while

staying far from the fast pace and the stress of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

city life during their sabbatical. In conclusion, there are many positive and negative aspects of the commercialization of regions outside megacities.

However

, on balance, I believe that the advantages

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the drawbacks.

This

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

they have the potential to address the pressing concerns of traffic challenges in

cities

and it will

also

act as

deterrent

Add an article

a deterrent

show examples

to increasing air toxicity.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing ideas into well-defined paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is not only introduced but also developed and concluded.

Coherence and Cohesion

Avoid having too many ideas in one paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that it contains sentences that expand on that idea in a logical and structured manner.

Task Achievement

Make sure to provide specific examples that directly support your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.

Task Achievement

To improve task response, expand on the main points with more developed explanations and ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly. Include both sides of the argument before making a reasoned conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban sprawl
decentralization
sustainable development
infrastructure
quality of life
economic disparity
rural revitalization
overcrowding
resource allocation
talent retention
commuter issues
regional development
corporate relocation
workforce migration
urban-rural divide

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Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people no longer read newspaper. They get news about the world through the Internet. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

An American film actor once said, "Tomorrow is important and precious" • Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?