IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that computers can translate languages, so children need not study foreign languages anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #languages #children #study
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It is argued that new technologies can do translating for us,
hence
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 young people don't have to learn other
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay disagrees with
this
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 statement and will first discuss the benefits of learning
languages
Use synonyms
 and
secondly
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 argue that it will not help for free oral communication. First and foremost,
while
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 mastering
languages
Use synonyms
 cells of our brain . During the process of acquiring another language, people do
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of grammar exercises and learn new words, so, it
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
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 our cognitive functions
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 critical thinking, memory and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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 skills.In that way,
this
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 process
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 impact on us and helps our brain to stay healthy
as well as
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 live longer. Recent studies showed that bilingual children show better academic performance than pupils who know just their native language. Translating service from computers might be helpful through dialogues
in
Change preposition
on
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 the internet and social media apps , but when it comes to face-to-face communication, it will not be
much
Rephrase
very
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 effective.
Cause
Correct word choice
Because
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 there are
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
languages
Use synonyms
 in the world and each has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own feature,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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while
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 translating
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may not capture those
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
.
Besides
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, there will always be some nuance, context and cultural subtleties , because of dialects and accents.
For example
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, there is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 word "
na'n
Correct your spelling
naan
man
nan
" , which is used in the east side of Kazakhstan and means large, but translators do not recognize
this
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 word yet.
Also
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, it's not the one case and in the future it will be number of
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of words
wiil
Correct your spelling
will
 increase. In conclusion, technology will help us with our language barriers , but children should learn other
languages
Use synonyms
 to keep their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 in a working state and to chat freely without losing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 great
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
.
Submitted by forcookiearu on

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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
Work on maintaining a logical and clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Paragraphs should be well-developed and ideas should connect logically.
supported main points
Support main points with specific, relevant examples and explanations. Avoid general statements that aren't directly supported by concrete examples.
complete response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Discuss the statement given and clearly state the extent of agreement or disagreement.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure that ideas are expressed clearly and that thoughts are comprehensive and easy to understand. Avoid ambiguity or excessive complexity.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic and the argument being made. Each main point should be illustrated with evidence or examples that are contextual and accurate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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