In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

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All over the world , most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
changing
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change
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their way of living and those
changes
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is
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are
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affecting
on
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apply
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their family
relationship
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relationships
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.
i
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I
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will
expalin
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explain
further
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about
advantages
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the advantages
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outweigh the
disadantages
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disadvantages
.
Firstly
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,
Now a days
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Nowadays
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people
are having
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have
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very
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a very
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busy
schedule
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schedules
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, so they don't have ample
of
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apply
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time
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to spend with their loved ones. As young
generation
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is shifting from rural to urban areas to get
a
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apply
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good job
opportunity
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opportunities
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and
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apply
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they want their kid should get
proper
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a proper
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education in a reputed school .
For
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instance
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instance,
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my cousin is a doctor, so she is busy in
hospital
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the hospital
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with her patients ,
therefore
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she
do
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does
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not have much quality
time
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for her family members even though in case of any
contigency
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contingency
, she has to leave any
time
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so in
this
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situation some times her kids feel isolated in her absence.
Changes
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are
necessay
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necessary
for
boost
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a boost
the boost
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in
nation
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national
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growth. On
other
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the other
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hand , the disadvantage of
life
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stlyle
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style
changes
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is because
of
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apply
show examples
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generation
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the generation
show examples
gap as our
elder
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elders
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did not get adjusted
in
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to
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that culture. they always believe that
old
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the old
show examples
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life style
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lifestyle
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was
best
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the best
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time
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to live. In
old
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the old
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days each family member used to spend their
time
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with family as
those
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in those
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days technology was not so developed i.e
moblie
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mobile
,
televison
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television
was not there.
For Example
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In the
reseach
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research
, it is found that
young
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the young
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generation
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spending their
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spends
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more
time
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on mobile
screen
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screens
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not with
family
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their family
show examples
. In conclusion ,there is
a
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an
show examples
advantage of
changes
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in
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life style
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lifestyle
show examples
.
i
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I
show examples
reckon that
changes
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is
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are
show examples
must
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a must
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for the development of
the
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apply
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society ,individual or nation .
Every one
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Everyone
show examples
in the family has to understand that , these
changes
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are for the betterment of their
life
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and future
generation
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and well-structured introduction. Be sure to include a thesis statement that outlines the main points of your argument. Work on creating better topic sentences to lead your paragraphs, and transitions to improve the flow between them. This will significantly enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay partially addressed the task. However, the response needs to be fully developed and points should be expanded with specific and relevant examples. Pay attention to the balance of the discussion regarding advantages and disadvantages to ensure all parts of the task are addressed equally.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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