In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?
All over the world , most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people Correct article usage
apply
changing
their way of living and those Wrong verb form
change
changes
is
affecting Change the verb form
are
on
their family Change preposition
apply
relationship
. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
i
will Change the capitalization
I
expalin
Correct your spelling
explain
further
about advantages
outweigh the Correct article usage
the advantages
disadantages
.
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
Firstly
, Now a days
people Correct the word
Nowadays
are having
Wrong verb form
have
very
busy Add an article
a very
schedule
, so they don't have ample Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
of
Change preposition
apply
time
to spend with their loved ones. As young generation
is shifting from rural to urban areas to get a
good job Correct article usage
apply
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
and
they want their kid should get Correct word choice
apply
proper
education in a reputed school . Correct article usage
a proper
For
instance
my cousin is a doctor, so she is busy in Add a comma
instance,
hospital
with her patients , Correct article usage
the hospital
therefore
she do
not have much quality Change the verb form
does
time
for her family members even though in case of any contigency
, she has to leave any Correct your spelling
contingency
time
so in this
situation some times her kids feel isolated in her absence. Changes
are necessay
for Correct your spelling
necessary
boost
in Add an article
a boost
the boost
nation
growth.
On Replace the word
national
other
hand , the disadvantage of Correct article usage
the other
life
stlyle
Correct your spelling
style
changes
is because of
Change preposition
apply
generation
gap as our Correct article usage
the generation
elder
did not get adjusted Fix the agreement mistake
elders
in
that culture. they always believe that Change preposition
to
old
Correct article usage
the old
life style
was Correct your spelling
lifestyle
best
Change the article
the best
time
to live. In old
days each family member used to spend their Correct article usage
the old
time
with family as those
days technology was not so developed i.e Change preposition
in those
moblie
,Correct your spelling
mobile
televison
was not there. Correct your spelling
television
For Example
In the reseach
, it is found that Correct your spelling
research
young
Correct article usage
the young
generation
spending their
more Wrong verb form
spends
time
on mobile screen
not with Fix the agreement mistake
screens
family
.
In conclusion ,there is Correct pronoun usage
their family
a
advantage of Change the article
an
changes
in life style
. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
i
reckon that Change the capitalization
I
changes
is
Change the verb form
are
must
for the development of Correct article usage
a must
the
society ,individual or nation . Correct article usage
apply
Every one
in the family has to understand that , these Replace the word
Everyone
changes
are for the betterment of their life
and future generation
.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and well-structured introduction. Be sure to include a thesis statement that outlines the main points of your argument. Work on creating better topic sentences to lead your paragraphs, and transitions to improve the flow between them. This will significantly enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay partially addressed the task. However, the response needs to be fully developed and points should be expanded with specific and relevant examples. Pay attention to the balance of the discussion regarding advantages and disadvantages to ensure all parts of the task are addressed equally.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.