some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. others say that children should be free to choose what they do in free time. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a fact that what
children
do in their free time contributes significantly to their development in the future. Some people believe that children
should be able to manage their leisure times
, Fix the agreement mistake
time
while
the opponents of this
idea prefer to prioritize the important role of their parents
. I would argue that leisure activities organized by adults or teens offer more advantages.
On the one hand, there are certain benefits to allowing children
to pick what is best for them. To begin
with, if parents
let them be free to do so, they will learn naturally the decision-making process. For instance
, they have to be concerned about cause and effect in their options. As a result
, their responsibility will be improved. Secondly
, the freedom of choice enables children
to develop their unique potential. When children
spend time on their favorite
acts, they can explore what they like and are good at. Change the spelling
favourite
For example
, some youngsters are not exceptional academically, but their abilities are kinesthetic, so they should be trained to be a
sports Correct article usage
apply
player
to benefit their future.
Fix the agreement mistake
players
On the other hand
, regarding
the Change preposition
apply
children
's free time management of parents
leads to these activities being more productive and educational. Because adults have many experiences and they want their teen
to do beneficial acts rather than something Fix the agreement mistake
teens
that is
just for fun. To illustrate, parents
often guide me to read books, do chores or decorate rooms Correct pronoun usage
my parents
instead
of going out with my friends. As a consequence
, their children
seem lost in their childhood and have no chance in order to explore their natural talents.
In conclusion, it is true that parents
play an important part in selecting children
’s activities, but I prefer to let teens have their own options because of the decision making
learning process and their unique potential.Add a hyphen
decision-making
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Although you have an introduction and conclusion, the main body paragraphs need clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices.
task achievement
Expand upon the main points with specific examples and ensure that these examples are directly linked to the question prompt for a more complete response to the task.
task achievement
Task Achievement: Demonstrate a full understanding of the prompt by adequately discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed equally and that your opinion is explicitly stated and well-supported.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Pay attention to paragraphing, as well as the use of cohesive devices and references. Aim to make your essay easy to read and understand by logically organizing your ideas and using varied linking words.