The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018.

The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018.
A glance at the bar chart provided reveals the rate of three different groups of Japanese children participating in four types of activities in 208. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is evident that there was a downward trend experienced in 5 to 8
years
old and 9 to 11
years
old, the pattern reverse was true for 12 to 16
years
old. A dramatic increase in the figures for the children
of
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aged 12 to 16
years
old was seen in riding the bike. In terms of the figure for 5 to 8
years
old, it started at approximately 90% by watching TV, which was the highest number in
this
sector.
Although
it rose suddenly, it elevated slightly and peaked at over 60% . With regard to 9-11-year-olds, it began at 80%,
Although
it declined minimally, it increased steadily and topped at merely 62% by riding the bike. With the exception of the children of
aged
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12-16 year olds, there was a homogenous point in watching TV from 9
years
old to 16
years
old, with 80%. Even though it dropped abruptly in playing computer games, it significantly upsurged and reached its peak at 80%. At the same time, that
for
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was twice as much as itself in playing computer games.
Furthermore
, there was a similar point underwent in its initial point.
Submitted by thvana236 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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