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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.
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The bar graph
display
Change the verb form
displays
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 the numbers of people who have part-time jobs in countries that make up the United
Kingdoms
Fix the agreement mistake
Kingdom
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,
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
 in 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, they
has
Change the verb form
have
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Correct article usage
a genally
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genally
Correct your spelling
generally
 small increase in part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2010, except for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Northern
Iraland
Correct your spelling
Ireland
. In 1980, Wales
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the most part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 up to slightly over 30%, followed by England, which
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 almost 25% of
works
Replace the word
workers
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,
While
Linking Words
 the other two countries, Northern Ireland and Scotland
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the smallest percentage of part-time
workers
Use synonyms
, with just 15% and over 10% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010, England, Scotland , and Wales saw an increase in the percentage of people working
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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. In England, the percentage rose to above 30% and in Wales
is
Correct your spelling
it
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increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 to just over 35%. In Scotland, it rose
doulblle
Correct your spelling
double
 from the past to approximately 20%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 in the
Norther
Correct your spelling
Northern
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 Ireland
Change the verb form
have
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has
Add the particle
has to
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 decrease
smaller
Add an article
the smaller
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 amount to
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 13%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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