Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
chart shows how they chose their career way after university.
Body paragraph 1
We can see that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
enrollment
Correct article usage
the enrollment
show examples
of men was significantly lower than women. Females proportions in all
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
only increased. Most
students
Use synonyms
pursuade
Correct your spelling
pursue
persuade
alternative career way,
while
Linking Words
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
percentage stay in their profession.
Body paragraph 2
In 2000,both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
had the same number. In 2001, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of male
students
Use synonyms
started to sharply
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
,
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
20% by the end of
given
Add an article
a given
the given
show examples
period.
While
Linking Words
figure
Add an article
the figure
show examples
for female
students
Use synonyms
rose intensely and in 2006 reached a peak of nearly 60%.
Body paragraph 3
After graduating from the university 55% of graduates chose another profession, which is far from music. 25% of people got
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
job as their faculty and only 20%
graduates
Change preposition
of graduates
show examples
continued their musical career.
Conclusion
#Shaxrizada #REPORT3
bekzodeshonjonovv
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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential for structuring your argument. Please ensure you include these elements to clearly establish your position and summarise your main points effectively.
logical flow
Improve the essay's logical structure by using linking words and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Make sure to directly address the task and stay relevant to the question. Provide a more detailed response that fully covers the requirements of the task. Explain and elaborate on your main points for a stronger argument.
development
Your essay needs clearer development of ideas. Each paragraph should contain a single, coherent point that supports your overall argument. Avoid listing information without explaining or analyzing how it supports your position.
examples
While you provided examples, your essay would benefit from more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your points. Use these examples to clearly demonstrate the relevance and impact of your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
All adults like to study in another country.Because studying abroad may be one of the most beneficial experiences. But some parents worry about their children and do not allow them to study abroad. I believe that studying abroad has more positive sides than learning another culture and another experience.
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the enthusiasm of international tourists to learn about other cultures. This raises a certain question about the ways of learning about other nations’ cultures. In this essay, I will first examine the ways of getting familiar with other cultures and then explain the reasons for humans’ interest or reluctance in other cultures.
My name is Jee and I have been accepted for a Master's program in Science and Engineering at Machester University. I am writing this email to formally inform you that I will not be able to attend the interview that was scheduled for next Monday at 10:00AM. Please allow me to explain.
People held different views about whether the loss of certain species of fauna and flora is more important or whether other environmental problems are more urgent. Although there are serious arguments on both sides I believe there are more important problems such as global warming that influents humanity in several ways immediately, as well as, species of plants and animals. This essay demonstrates firstly the importance of natural diversity and the consequent results of the loss of this diversity followed by an analysis of global warming from other environmental problems and how it affects both humanity and other life forms.