IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Due to the increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new resources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #demands #oil #gas #energy #people #resources #places #sources
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The pie chart provides data about the percentage of student's choice in career after graduation
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 music courses in Australian
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 from 2000 till 2006, which is described in bar graph.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of female
students
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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music specialised
Add a hyphen
music-specialised
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 courses increased stably. In 2000 the same number of
make
Correct your spelling
male
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 and female
students
 was 20%,
however
 after a year the percentage of male
students
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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decline
Replace the word
declined
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 to approximately 5% and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
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 similar till 2004. In 2004 the proportion of female
students
 was already 50% and males only 10%. In the
last
 year, despite the declines
fared
Verb problem
apply
show examples
over the given period the indicators of male
students
 had risen and become
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as it was in 2000. In the pie
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it is described that after graduation
of
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from
show examples
 music
courses
Add a comma
courses,
show examples
 55% of
students
 choose fully not related professions. 25% of them go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar careers and only 20% select
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 occupation which is the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their
directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
show examples
 in previous studies. 167 words. #MADINA #REPORT3
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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses the actual IELTS question prompt, providing a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of sourcing energy from remote natural places.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement. Each body paragraph should contain a clear main idea and supporting details. The conclusion should sum up the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to logically connect ideas throughout the essay. Avoid sudden jumps or disjointed statements.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and explanations to support each advantage and disadvantage you discuss in order to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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