IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives the information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when they are relavant.

The chart below gives the information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when they are relavant.
#information #families #country #income #features #comparison #relavant
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The bar chart illustrates the way families in a nation spent their weekly income with respect to two different years in the past, 1968 and 2018.
Overall
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, there were drastic reductions in terms of the proportion of the money spent by families
for
Change preposition
on
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 primary needs,
such
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 as food, fuel and power, personal goods, and clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 over around 5
decades
Fix the agreement mistake
decade
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 period,
while
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 more money was
instead
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 spent
for
Change preposition
on
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 current trend products and services, like housing, transport, and leisure in 2018 compared with what happened approximately 50 years ago. Another noticeable feature from the data is that the proportion of weekly income used for food consumption itself
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped significantly from 35% in 1968 to just around 17.5% in 2018.
Furthermore
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, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, and personal goods
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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all decreased
around
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by around
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 2.5%, 5%, and 5% respectively.
In addition
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 to that, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quite
big
Correct article usage
a big
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increased
Replace the word
increase
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for
Change preposition
in
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 housing and leisure where the former rose by 9% and the latter grew by 12.5% approximately during the years examined in the chart. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transport, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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 increased by around 5% compared with 1968, even though its difference with the proportion of weekly salary used in 2018 was not as big as the other two mentioned earlier in
this
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 paragraph.
Submitted by ravialdyhidayat on

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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