IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives the information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when they are relavant.

The chart below gives the information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when they are relavant.
#information #families #country #income #features #comparison #relavant
The bar chart illustrates the way families in a nation spent their weekly income with respect to two different years in the past, 1968 and 2018.
Overall
, there were drastic reductions in terms of the proportion of the money spent by families
for
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on
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 primary needs,
such
 as food, fuel and power, personal goods, and clothing and
footware
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footwear
 over around 5
decades
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decade
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 period,
while
 more money was
instead
 spent
for
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on
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 current trend products and services, like housing, transport, and leisure in 2018 compared with what happened approximately 50 years ago. Another noticeable feature from the data is that the proportion of weekly income used for food consumption itself
was
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apply
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dropped significantly from 35% in 1968 to just around 17.5% in 2018.
Furthermore
, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
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footwear
, and personal goods
were
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apply
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all decreased
around
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by around
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 2.5%, 5%, and 5% respectively.
In addition
 to that, there was
a
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apply
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quite
big
Correct article usage
a big
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increased
Replace the word
increase
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for
Change preposition
in
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 housing and leisure where the former rose by 9% and the latter grew by 12.5% approximately during the years examined in the chart. For
the
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apply
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transport, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
 increased by around 5% compared with 1968, even though its difference with the proportion of weekly salary used in 2018 was not as big as the other two mentioned earlier in
this
 paragraph.
Submitted by ravialdyhidayat on

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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