Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether
students
should study their interests or be limited to studying such
subjects will be required later in science and technology fields. While
society needs more experts in science and technology, students
' interests are more significant and I beg to differ with limitations regarding this
subject.
On the one hand, following interests brings some inevitable benefits for individuals and society. If students
pursue their favorite
majors at university, they will definitely bring Change the spelling
favourite
the
best in Change preposition
out the
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
students
. Moreover
, they have more curiosity and encouragement to learn new things in that area to be able to be a specialist. Thus
, more experts who love their works will emerge in the future. Another obvious advantage of this
is that people tend to be more creative and expand their job so some of them will become entrepreneurs so that more and more big and small companies will be established. Therefore
, it leads society to develop faster and the economy will grow.
On the other hand
, students
shouldn’t be forced to do something they wouldn’t like otherwise
, some grave problems will appear. Firstly
, those who are passionate about art and are gifted in it, may not be as practical as in physics. consequently
, it is bound to cause decreasing performance of individuals in diverse parts like technology, science, art, and so on. Because Their enthusiasm was dimmed and everyone wasn't in his favorable position. Secondly
, the public should struggle with mental issues such
as depression sooner or later. For instance
, one of my friends studied mechanics at university because of his parents' urge despite his interest in literature, he told me he didn't like his job and he has
undergone a breakdown at a young age.
In conclusion, I don't approve of compulsory study in needed area as it will consign serious problem for nations. Wrong verb form
had
However
, it is a natural entitlement of all youngsters to continue their favorite
studies which Change the spelling
favourite
leaves
positive implications Change the verb form
leave
on
individuals and the economy.Change preposition
for
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed logically. Your essay contains some good points, but sometimes the ideas are not connected in the clearest way. Improving the logical flow can help make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. This essay contains both, but they could be strengthened for clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. Your essay could benefit from more detailed examples to illustrate the points made.
task achievement
A complete response to the task requires a balanced consideration of all parts of the prompt, and a clear personal position that is well supported throughout the essay. Your response addresses the different views and provides your opinion, but at times the support is general. Be sure to clearly address all parts of the task, including explicit statements of how you arrived at your opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that ideas are presented clearly and developed comprehensively within the essay. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader, and break down points into manageable ideas that are easy to follow.
task achievement
Use specific, relevant examples to bolster the points in your essay. These examples help to ground your ideas in a real-world context, making your argument more convincing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example