In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, money has become an aspect of a country’s development. With a high amount of pay, some societies argue that it would be beneficial for a nation.
Conversely
, others ensure that the government should manage the level of the salary
. The decision-maker should take an
action on Correct article usage
apply
this
occasion to mitigate the unbalanced salaries of their citizens. In my perspective, there has to be a policy to control the companies for paying their employees.
On the one hand, a high salary
is the
evidence that a company reward their employees properly. Those who have high salaries tend to be more valuable than the other employees. Take an example in a company, the manager position should have a higher Correct article usage
apply
salary
because the liability of he or she is much harder than the ordinary staff. Therefore
, a valuable person is paid based on their value.
On the other hand
, it brings an unbalanced lifestyle to others since many of them cannot have adequate in certain both
activities and experiences. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, because of her low salary
, a woman cannot afford an automatic cleaner. The commission have
a responsibility to manage Change the verb form
has
their
citizens by helping them with Correct pronoun usage
its
such
an annual fund for those who have inadequate salaries. By directly helping their citizens; thus
, it will be more fruitful for them.
In my opinion, I prefer that the commission and companies must
collaborate to reconfigure their terms in Verb problem
apply
salary
because the company is the first-role
side of an employee to earn money and the commission is the other side to control Correct your spelling
first
this
phenomenon.
In conclusion, wealth can be an important key to a nation’s development. The knowledgeable person could have several chances to help their countries to develop. I believe that there must be a collaboration between some companies and the government to contribute to the developed country.Submitted by re.li on
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task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both views on the topic of salary caps; however, the main points could be better supported with more detailed and specific examples. The arguments sometimes appear general and lack depth.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay has an introduction and conclusion, it would be beneficial to make the thesis more explicit in the introduction and reiterate this clearly in the conclusion. This enhances the overall effectiveness of the response.
task achievement
Develop each main point more fully by including more specific examples and elaborating on the reasons behind each point. This will enhance the persuasiveness and depth of the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay maintains a logical structure throughout, with clear transitions between paragraphs and cohesive devices that help tie the ideas together more seamlessly.
task achievement
Particularly in the second argument, the use of more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures could enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of the ideas presented.
coherence cohesion
Use the conclusion to effectively summarize your discussion and restate your position. Make sure that your opinion stands out and that the reader is left with a clear understanding of your stance on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
