In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some countries,
children
are taught that hard work
will help them achieve their goals. In my opinion, this
message can inspire and motivate them to overcome hardships, but at the same time, it can cause delusion and disappointment.
On the one hand, teaching children
that hard work
can guarantee success
has several advantages. To start with, this
message can motivate children
, especially those who believe that innate talents determine success
. For example
, when learning a second language, which is a challenging and time- consuming
process, Correct your spelling
time-consuming
children
need to truly understand that hard work
, and not talents, is conducive to enhancing proficiency. That way, they could stay motivated and keep on learning when they encounter setbacks. More importantly, the role of valuing hard work
goes beyond being a mere source of motivation. It can also
help children
to develop a positive mentality and improve their resilience, all of which are necessary for their adult life.
On the other hand
, the biggest disadvantage of the notion that diligence ensures success
is that it may mislead children
into spending too much time and effort on the
tasks in which hard Correct article usage
apply
work
plays little role. For example
, a child wanting to be a professional singer may waste time on voice training without considering their lack of musical talents but still hope that they may achieve success
one day. Similarly
, most painters need to have a great and unique sense of aesthetics, which is considered as
a rare talent and Change preposition
apply
therefore
cannot be acquired through hard work
. Believing that hard work
alone is enough can breed frustration, delusion, or even mental illness.
In conclusion, teaching children
that hard work
will always result in success
is a great way to motivate them through hardships. Nevertheless
, such
teaching may produce undesirable outcomes in situations where hard work
is not the key.Submitted by oyku.bilgin12 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To elevate the score for logical structure, ensure a more seamless and logical flow between ideas. This could include smoother transitions and a more explicit illustration of the connections between points made throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Including an introduction and a conclusion is good, but make them more impactful by clearly stating the thesis and summarizing the main points more effectively within the conclusion. Tailor these sections to succinctly outline the essay's purpose and to round up the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported, illustrations could be enhanced by integrating a wider range of more detailed examples, especially those that showcase real-world evidence or more unique scenarios, to augment the discussion.
task achievement
A complete response was given to the prompt, but to improve, strive to address all parts of the question with a comprehensive discussion that delves deeper into both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas in the essay are clear, but to enhance comprehensiveness, expand on each idea more thoroughly. Provide a more nuanced exploration of both the positive and negative implications of the message given to children.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant but remain fairly general. To score higher, offer specific, concrete examples that demonstrate the ideas more vividly and persuasively.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!