Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some societies assume that
prison
is a comprehend
Replace the word
comprehended
choices
to mitigate Fix the agreement mistake
choice
crimes
. Conversely
, others ensure that many other appropriate choices to reduce it rather than jail
. I believe that there are many ways to make criminals
beneficial for the country.
The reason of
Change preposition
for
prison
is still comprehends
because of long duration in Change the verb form
is still comprehended
is still comprehending
a
Remove the article
apply
jail
can reduce the crimes
initiate
. The uncomfortable Wrong verb form
initiated
neighborhood
creates some people Change the spelling
neighbourhood
would
not Correct pronoun usage
who would
doing
Verb problem
commit
crimes
anymore. For instance
, bank robbers who had jail's
experiences tend Change noun form
jail
to
not to redo what they did. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, many people are agree
that they worth Change the verb form
agree
to get
that. Change the verb form
getting
Thus
, the agreement from some of societies
is effective.
Rather than giving them Add an article
the societies
long
time in Add an article
a long
a
Remove the article
apply
jail
; however
, it will brings
Wrong verb form
bring
an
unproductive citizens to the country. Many Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
criminals
are young and have many chances to get a better life. The government nowadays have an alternatives
for Correct the article-noun agreement
an alternative
alternatives
criminals
to be more productive their
judging period. Prisons in some developed countries; Change preposition
in their
for example
, they
provide some activities Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as handcrafting, gardening, and cooking. This
activities not only give them Correct determiner usage
These
activity
to do but Fix the agreement mistake
activities
also
can be motivated
them to become Wrong verb form
motivate
a
better person since they will be useful when they are free.
In my perspective, it is the liability of the commission to reduce crime rates. By giving some adequate activities Correct article usage
apply
while
in a
Correct article usage
apply
prison
, the commission will have other productive citizens and can use them in some parts of the city since they have many experiences in jail
. Therefore
, the government's notion will be precise to
reducing Change preposition
in
crimes
.
In conclusion, some people believe that with long period criminals
in a
Correct article usage
apply
prison
, it is suit with
what they did. Change preposition
for
However
, the
crime mitigation can be beneficial for Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
criminals
if their decision-maker have many good ideas. I believe that the government must be aware to
all of their citizens Change preposition
of
moreover
their criminals
to give them better
life.Add an article
a better
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Task Response
Task response requires more precise statement of your position. Your opinion is not clearly stated in the introduction.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples to strengthen your argument and task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve essay structure with clear topic sentences and better paragraphing; each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Transitional words and phrases should be used to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example