Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative

Some societies assume that

prison

is a

comprehend

Replace the word

comprehended

show examples

choices

Fix the agreement mistake

choice

show examples

to mitigate

crimes

Conversely

, others ensure that many other appropriate choices to reduce it rather than

jail

. I believe that there are many ways to make

criminals

beneficial for the country. The reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

prison

is still comprehends

Change the verb form

is still comprehended

is still comprehending

show examples

because of long duration in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

jail

can reduce the

crimes

initiate

Wrong verb form

initiated

show examples

. The uncomfortable

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

creates some people

would

Correct pronoun usage

who would

show examples

not

doing

Verb problem

commit

show examples

crimes

anymore.

For instance

, bank robbers who had

jail's

Change noun form

jail

show examples

experiences tend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not to redo what they did.

Moreover

, many people

are agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

that they worth

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

that.

Thus

, the agreement from some of

societies

Add an article

the societies

show examples

is effective. Rather than giving them

long

Add an article

a long

show examples

time in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

jail

;

however

, it will

brings

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

unproductive citizens to the country. Many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

criminals

are young and have many chances to get a better life. The government nowadays have

an alternatives

Correct the article-noun agreement

an alternative

alternatives

show examples

for

criminals

to be more productive

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

judging period. Prisons in some developed countries;

for example

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

provide some activities

such

as handcrafting, gardening, and cooking.

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

activities not only give them

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

to do but

also

can

be motivated

Wrong verb form

motivate

show examples

them to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better person since they will be useful when they are free. In my perspective, it is the liability of the commission to reduce crime rates. By giving some adequate activities

while

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

, the commission will have other productive citizens and can use them in some parts of the city since they have many experiences in

jail

Therefore

, the government's notion will be precise

Change preposition

show examples

reducing

crimes

. In conclusion, some people believe that with long period

criminals

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison

, it is suit

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

what they did.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime mitigation can be beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminals

if their decision-maker have many good ideas. I believe that the government must be aware

Change preposition

show examples

all of their citizens

moreover

their

criminals

to give them

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life.

Submitted by re.li on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Task Response

Task response requires more precise statement of your position. Your opinion is not clearly stated in the introduction.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more detailed examples to strengthen your argument and task achievement score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve essay structure with clear topic sentences and better paragraphing; each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

Coherence & Cohesion

Sentences often lack clarity and may confuse the reader, affecting the coherence of the essay. Focus on concise and clear sentence construction.

Coherence & Cohesion

Transitional words and phrases should be used to better connect ideas and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

315 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to your friend asking him or her to take care of your childern while you are away on a business trip. In your letter, Write what they like to eat . Write how they would spend their time. Suggest an arrangement to pick them up after the trip.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.