While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are
believe
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beliefs

The word believe doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
people
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should only study academically,
while
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others think they have to be trained with certain
skills
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. I completely agree with that idea and
this
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essay will explain
further
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about it.
To begin
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with,
academic
Correct article usage
the academic

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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learning
process
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limits
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people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity

The noun phrase opportunity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to
applies
Wrong verb form
apply

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb applies. Consider changing it.

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the given theories. It is because most of their knowledge (especially
students
Change preposition
from students

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in undergraduate schools)
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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gained through with passive learning methods,
such
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as workshops or seminars, where they are only listening to several materials given by the speakers. Even though they might be rich in knowledge , they are rarely exposed
into
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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field-based related projects or experiments, which can tamper their
process
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to accomplish several prerequisite
skills
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject several prerequisite skills. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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required in their programme.
On the other hand
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, supporting
people
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to do vocational training might be a good idea, as
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can quickly adapt to utilise
skills
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that
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject skills. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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needed in the field.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Generally. Consider adding a comma.

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through that
programme
Correct your spelling
program

The word programme doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be continuously exposed or involved
to do
Change preposition
in doing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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certain jobs directly in the field where they are not only interacting with the
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with the tools,
regulations
Correct word choice
and regulations

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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, until the
process
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Therefore
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, their body might start to recognise those needed behaviours
as well as
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that are useful,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it will be labelled by the brain as part of their habit during the working
process
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those trained
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are judged qualified enough to do particular jobs in the future, since
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of trying to memorise the
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, they already apply it through the training
process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion,
albeit
Correct word choice
although

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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it is beneficial for
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to be
theoritically
Correct your spelling
theoretically

If you don’t want theoritically to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

prepared through academic study, doing vocational training might help them to get used to
conduct
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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several
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject several skills. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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needed within their work area.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the flow of ideas by using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to introduce main points.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point more comprehensively with specific examples and explanations to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure full coverage of the topic by elaborating on both views before stating your position clearly.
task achievement
Add more concrete and relevant examples to support your arguments and to fulfill the task requirements more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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